WHY does that happen?
Does my brain not realize I still have oh, I dunno, NINETY SEVEN pounds to go?
See what did I just do? I just ordered a cookie to go WITH my subway, even though I am writing about this RIGHT NOW. I guess technically its not too bad because it won't put me over my calories, but I did have a healthier snack planned, and now it's been replaced with a cookie.
My brain wants me to self-sabotage. but why? What am I afraid of.
Losing weight has a lot of benefits:
- Um I look like a hotter version of myself, hello! That's almost enough reason on its own!
- Its way easier to move around.
- My neck fat won't try to suffocate me any more
- I'll get to wear cuter (normal sized) clothes
- My confidence will improve, which means some of my walls might come down
- So my life has a good chance of being a lot longer, meaning I can watch my kids grow longer
- I'll lower my chance of developing Type 2 diabetes (My husband is type 1, and I know that's not fun and I don't love pricking myself.
- I'll decrease my risk of dying of heart attack or stroke
- I'll be more active in my children's lives
- I'll be setting a positive example for my kids
So again... why would I want to sabotage that?
**And why the heck do I feel worse about subbing a cookie for 100 extra cals, than I did after yesterday's gorge-fest?**
I guess the positive out of this is that I recognize it, and I'm not really doing any big damage, but I do think I need to figure out the answer to this question. Figure out why some part of me wants to fight my progress.
Part of it is that I hadn't planned on having the cookie, and I do know that when things don't go exactly how I plan, sometimes I feel like a failure, you know unless I do better than my plan, in which case I feel like freaking super woman!
Anyhow, I guess I can ponder that while I run tonight. Running always gives me great insight, inspiration and ideas!
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I just wrote a blog entry about 'securing the beachhead' and making a bad choice. I don't know this occasionally happens but I am so glad I can say occasionally and not weekly. For 99% of the time, when I see a new lower number, it motivates me more. I can't do the food rewards or cheat days. I mean, you work so hard to get that weight off and it can be effected by just 1 bad choice.
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