**First a disclaimer: I love my Grandpa, he has Alzheimer's, and I know he did not intend to hurt my feelings... well maybe he thought it would motivate me??
I can remember my Grandpa commenting on my weight from the time I was 11, before I was overweight in any respect. He commented on it at my heaviest, and when I was at my lightest he said "You look good with the weight off you kid". At my heaviest he remarked "You're as big as the fridge!!", and finally last night, after losing 86lbs he says "You'll need to lose some weight!!" after my Aunt tells him I am training for a half-marathon.
I was having a really good day up to that point.
Now that I am more aware of how I react to things, it makes emotional eating harder (not impossible, but harder). Last night I had already planned ahead for an indulgent meal and dessert so I was feeling pretty full last night, no additional harm done there. Today however, was a new chance to screw up. After really thinking about it I decided I would get a treat, but then let it go and finish my day strong. I ended up having two treats and feeling horrible (chocolate scone and chocolate milk), but I decided to plan out the rest of my day and continue to finish strong. This I have done. I even have some spare calories that I am choosing not to eat.
How do you deal with hurtful comments? I suppose I'm just going to try to forget about it, and move on. Dwelling on it and soothing my emotions will not get me to where I want to be. The only person I will be hurting by saying "F**K it" would be ME, so why should I take his hurtful comments and then continue to hurt myself even more? This is what I have done in the past, and now looking back on it... it doesn't make any sense!!
This journey, good, bad and ugly, is about learning to deal with things in a positive manor more often than not, I wouldn't say "all the time" because really... who is perfect? Definitely NOT me, and not many people I know.
In the end, the comments hurt, but just like any judgement, they don't define me. Those hurtful comments only define who my Grandfather is/was.
Today I celebrate not being defeated by hurtful comments!!
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Good for you, my amazingly inspiring, goal-crushing friend!!!
ReplyDeleteWe have no control over what people say, only our reactions to them. By choosing to write things down, to think over what happened instead of diving for the pantry is a huge success! Celebrate yourself and your strength!
ReplyDeleteThis is a big NSV Megan! Way to go!! I too struggle with not reaching out to my old friend (food) when something like this happens. My SIL gave me a gift voucher for my birthday along with the comment 'they carry up to size 22 there' which went right to my core and shook it pretty hard (I'm a 14). I think I survived that one without a binge-fest by, like you, accepting that it was her with the issue, not me, and moving on. You get a big thumbs up from me :)
ReplyDeleteI have been heavy mybentire life. My grandfather has said similar things to me. Just this weekend my own fiance told me that when the girls went to the bathroom, all the men commented on how hot their friends new girl was and how lucky he was. and I said, "like they say about me?" and he laughed. I was joking but he shouldn't have laughed. I know I'm no prize. Also, I have lost $27 lbs and he's lost 30. EVERYONE says to him "wow you look great!" and nothing to me. It sucks!! I'm also an emotional eater but I have found alternative, low carb foods to inhale. Still a bad habit but it's better than an entire bag of M&M's.
ReplyDeleteMy grandpa has always been the same. Since as young as I can remember, he's made jabs at me about my weight. Last year, when I was down to my lightest - he actually commented on how well I was doing...and how much better I looked.
ReplyDeleteOf course, now that I've gained a lot of weight back. As hard as it was for me all those years to hear his constant jabs at my weight - I'm now just used to them. I know that anytime I see him, I'm going to hear something about it - and I just choose to ignore him.
It is very hard to hear a loved one make comments like that. It's even harder to ignore the comments. I just try to convince myself that it's my grandpa's warped way of telling me he cares about my health.
Awh, Merrie. :( You ARE a prize, never think you aren't.
ReplyDeleteMegan, I think I've had almost every family member say something hurtful right down to my nephew. Just remember - you have control over how they make you feel. Hugs.
Too darn right they don't define :d Brilliant attitude and sometimes the people closest to us can say the most hurtful things. :( But we gotta be strong.
ReplyDeleteHurtful comments are just stupid. It's hard not to take them to heart, but I work on finding love for myself - so that I won't care what others think of me. We are all more than our weight and appearance, that's just one of the things that makes us who we are!
ReplyDeletemerrie...seriously..you are a prize...and when you start thinking and feeling like one..maybe youll get a boyfriend who isnt a dick
ReplyDelete