Then vs. now

This is where I started from.  I remember when I was pregnant (Top left and bottom right at about 2-3mos) I could barely WALK around the block without getting winded.  My feet hurt just from standing, my neck-fat made it harder to breathe when I was going to sleep, I was topping out in size 24 clothing.  I pretty much resigned to the thought that I would be fat forever.  

Below is where I am now.  I'm roughly half-way to my goal weight-wise, but I believe I am in the best shape of my life.  I'm currently a size 16/18 and 220lbs.  I can run 13k non-stop, and I am lifting heavier that I ever have before (except for possibly squat-wise when I was training for track and field).

These next pics are a few of me at my lightest.  Top left was me around 160ish, and the other 3 are me at 149lbs. I was a size 6-8 and sometimes 10.  I had done some running to get to that point but for the most part I walked and ate less, period.  I was skinny, but I was also skinny-fat.  I still felt at 149 like I had another 10-15lbs to go but I hadn't been running for a while, and never lifted any weights.  

I used to think I wanted get back here.  Now I realize I want to get to somewhere else.  I want to be fit!  I want to be toned, strong and sexy. I want to achieve fitness goals and have energy! My motivation is entirely different too.  Back then I was young, single and had never been skinny.  I wanted attention, and revenge.  Not any more. I don't have anything to prove, and I'm not doing it for anyone else but ME.  I'm at a place where I am feeling more and more comfortable with who I am, and not really caring so much about what I think others might think.  

I am finally at a place where I can just put myself out there and be ok with the fact that not everyone will like me, but those that DO, will like me for exactly who I am. 

I am so excited for my future beyond my 30th birthday (That is what I have been concentrating on this last 6 months).  I'm going to be fit, fun and full of life!  I won't be the person I was at the beginning of my 20's, I'll be better!

I'm pretty bad-ass

Can you tell from the title that I just got back from a run?

I am fighting this week strong!  I have made some bad choices, but I have also been working hard to not let them rule me.

I refuse to give up.  REFUSE!  This whole lifestyle part means that I will be doing this forever.  Sometimes I win, and sometimes I don't, but I get up and get back on track.

This may all seem like a repetitive theme on my blog, however, this is what I am going through, it is all part of the journey for me.  Win, lose, get back up and repeat (hopefully lose better)!

Today I won with my diet, and I also won with my run!  I kept my calories in check, and then I did a 7k speedwork run where I pushed my two kids in their stroller and still ran one mile at a 12min pace and another in just UNDER 12 min!  

This morning I weighed just to "check in" not as an official weigh-in.  I was up by 1lb. Guess what? I am absolutely not stressing about it.  Why? Because I just started the new phase of Chalean, the "Lean Phase" and that means using different muscles and that has water retention written all over it.  Remember last month when I worked my ass of the first week and then lost NOTHING! It was the same thing, I was retaining water, and then the next week when I BOMBED diet and exercise-wise I still lost 2lbs.  This month will be different. I will not bomb next week, I will continue keeping my head in the game and know that regardless what the scale says I am doing the best that I can and that results WILL come!

Speaking of the Lean Phase, WOW, it is intense!  I can see why most people see the best results this month! Hopefully mine are great this month too! The compound moves and number of reps are awesome.  I know I am going to want to repeat Chalean again already!

So far, So good... Ugh?

^^ That right there is how I am doing so far this month.   Cautious since last month I felt like I lost momentum, but winning in the big picture.  

I'm huge on analysing myself  things pretty much anything that interests me.  So I want to figure out WHY I lost momentum.  What was different last month?

A) Return to weekly weigh-in: Is it possible that going back to weekly weigh-in assisted in this?  At first I didn't think of it because before February I had lost weight just fine with my weekly weigh-ins and felt motivated each week by my weigh-in.  BUT In February I believed in myself and the process and when I had ONE bad day it never turned into a week, it was just one day.  In March I noticed myself giving up half-way through the week and feeling bad all week until it was over and I had another one to start "fresh".  

Oh man, this opens my eyes to something else.  I've been giving myself excuses! "You already ruined your week Megan, might as well take advantage before you get back on track next week".  WHAT!?!?  

STOP EVERYTHING

This is just the kind of shit that got me here in the first place. 

What does this show me?  

• I need to get back to basics
• I still have a lot to learn
• This journey will carry on much longer than just getting to a goal weight

I just realized I had every intention of making a list bigger than "A".  Oh well, sometimes I guess when you write things out it can take you off track and on to something more important.  

I am not going to go back to a monthly weigh-in right now because I don't think that the frequency that I weigh-in should affect my weight-loss if I'm doing things right. I will stay weekly, BUT I am now aware that I have been doing these things and have the power to take that knowledge, and change those bad habits, one at a time!

Starting April off right!

I started off my morning fueling up with some strawberries, oatmeal with peanut butter and an iced coffee with chocolate milk.  Monica from Run Eat Repeat has iced coffee before a lot of her runs so I figured I would try it out today!  

Here I am at the beginning of my 13k journey.

This was the second hill (but most intense) that I tackled. 

The view from the top of the hill is amazing.  I live in a very beautiful (most times) place.

At about 7.5k there was a booster juice so I decided to have my mid-run fuel in the form of a Green Hornet juice.  

My run was pretty hilly.  Definitely a challenge for me.  When I hit the 10k mark I started freaking out about the last hill and trying to think up alternate routes home.  Then I just started repeating (freakishly) "that hill's not so bad, that hill's not so bad, that hill's not so bad".  I got to the intersection where I had to make the decision... and what comes on my iPhone but Ice Cube baby.  "You can do it". I was in, I took on that hill and finished my last 3k like it "ain't no thang".  

Until I stopped and started walking and my legs were not moving normally. I think I have to start looking into compression shorts, ice bathes and so on.  Not super looking forward to it either. 

Overall my run was extremely successful and when I got home I refuelled with greek yogurt, carrot cake granola and a banana!    

April weigh-in and progress pics

First off, I weighed in at

I'm not really excited about this number actually pretty damn good with this number.  I had a slow month, I ate too much, I exercised a little less than I would have liked and I struggled.  Overall its a loss, and really, I'm eighty-f'n-seven pounds lighter than my heaviest, and 67lbs down from 6.5 months ago. 

Here I am this morning. It was really sunny so my light was a little off from normal. 

The next one is March 4th, to April 1st.  Not really much difference, however since I only lost 6.4lbs for the entire month I am really not surprised.  On top of that with the heavy lifting in Chalean Extreme its typically the month with the least weight lost.

The difference from 6.5 months ago to now. Many days I still feel like the me in the top picture. I still look at myself like 'the obese girl'. I still feel like the first thing a person will notice about me is that I am overweight.  That might be true, but I am SO much closer to being at a size where that might not be the first thing someone thinks when looking at me. It might not even be the first thing I think when looking at me!

So, next month I hit the 210's! I have 2 months and 3 weeks until I turn 30, and I am dedicated to moving forward whether the pace be fast or slower. I really want to see 199 by June 22nd, but I think I just need to concentrate on small goals again since 199 is pretty much the ONLY thing I have been able to think about lately.  So if I get to 199, I will be incredibly happy but until then I'm going to focus on 5lb increments.  BRING ON 215!!