Long Term goals = SCARY

Last night I was doing a mirror evaluation of myself. Trying to see differences in my body. I see some. In the side-by-side pics I can see it, but the mirror is an ass! Ok maybe my head is an ass. Here I am, down 71 pounds (51 from Sept.) and I can't really see a huge difference.

Then I got thinking,  I started my last weight-loss journey at 240 pounds. Only 4 pounds difference from where I sit now. It took me 2 years back then to lose the weight. I didn't have MyFitnessPal or running apps, or really much of anything. My commitment wavered, I went in bursts. 20lbs in 3 months, then 4 months of nothing, 40lbs in 6 months just from running, and the last 30 came off over the next year by half-heartedly balancing my meals and walking EVERYWHERE!

Now at first I felt discouraged, like "here I am starting all over again". I have so far to go.

Then I realized, I have never been so committed, so driven, and so consistent with my efforts for this long straight EVER. I just passed the 5 month mark, and have lost 50lbs. I'm no where NEAR quitting, in fact, I'm pretty dam sure I'm going to finish this thing.

Thinking about the long-term goal can be good, but it can also be scary.  Its a good thing I have all my short-term goals to keep me focussed because losing another 60-90lbs seems like a LOT.

My next short-term goal is to complete ChaLEAN Extreme, and continue my running program.  After that is ONEDERLAND, and after that, my half-marathon!  Hopefully when I'm done with my half-marathon training I can start Turbo Fire because I have been waiting for what seems like EVER to try it!

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So, after I was finished with this thinking last night I decided to get to sleep early so I could have lots of energy today.  Do you know what happens whenever I make a concious decision to go to bed early? Shit hits the fan  My kids always end up having a rough night sleeping, thus requiring myself NOT to sleep. Last night my baby girl had a tummy ache. I could tell because every 15min or so she woke up and bounced, then cried and tried to get comfy.  As much as I am tired, there was a part of me (a sick apparently non-sleep-cherishing part of me) who enjoyed every moment of comforting her.  The last time she slept in my bed was well over 6 months ago.  

All this means that today I am tired, I'm still going to work out, but I am tired.  Although my husband did bring me a coffee and a donut, so hopefully the caffeine will help carry me through the day and I can get some good shut-eye happening tonight!