Good-bye 20`s

That`s it.   Today it the last day of my 20`s.  I`m no longer a child, teenager, or young adult.  I really am an adult now.  It`s that moment I have dreaded my whole life.  You know that moment when you have officially grown up? You'd think that it could have sunk in already. There have been some hints along the way:  I'm a wife, a mother and a business owner.  

I've made a million and one mistakes.  I've dated bad men, had bad jobs, allowed myself to be taken advantage of, watched my idols fall off their pretty pedestals, bought too many shoes, arrived home from travelling with only change in my pockets, tried to save people who did not want to save themselves, lost weight, gained weight, spent too much money, lived broke, said mean things, judged others, cared too much what others thought, and so many more.  

I'm so happy I could make so many wonderful mistakes, and that (even though some I needed to make over and over and over and over again) I have learned from them.  

I have quite a few things I am proud of myself for as well: I have lived in the city, travelled, made great friends, met and married the man I believe I will love until death do us part. I have two perfect children who keep me on my toes, they are everything to me. I have built my own business. When times got tough in my marriage, we chose to put in some serious work, and now feel like our grass is so green that we don't even look at the other side.  

Especially in the last year I have done a lot of work on actually BEING the person I want to be.  My goals are to act with honesty, integrity and purpose... 90% of the time.  I am honest with myself more than ever before.  I take responsibility for my actions, positive or negative.  I don't claim to be perfect because I am quite the opposite, but I am open to accepting my flaws as character, and owning up to my mistakes to learn from them.

As I look back on my 20's I can say I learned a lot of valuable lessons.  I had a lot of good things, and a few really horrible things.   My 20's were like a roller-coaster, going to extremes and just starting to even out in the end.  Even though there were really rough patches, patches that I would never want to re-live again, I would never change any of it.  Each lesson has helped shape a part of me, and while I am still a work-in-progress, I like where I'm headed.

My hope for my 30's is that I can have more balance in my life, enjoy all the small things, and conquer things that I had once considered impossible.  This starts the day after my birthday as I conquer the Kusam Klimb. I'm excited to see where the next 10 years go, but I'm not in a hurry at all to get there. 

Why the F*ck not?

Since I switched it up last week (by juicing, taking Chia seeds, and letting go of calorie counting), I feel like I have been in a really good space!  I haven't been going overboard on anything, and I have been a lot more relaxed!

Just from my experience so far, I feel like my cravings have been less, I'm not as hungry, and I'm more relaxed.  Also, I feel like I crave the juices, but not the taste so much as just having them.  The chia seeds have been very easy to include because you can sprinkle them on pretty much anything.  I had them on my pancakes this morning, and on my rice at dinner this evening.

Earlier today I was invited to do the Kusam Klimb next weekend.

What is that you ask?

Well its a 23k hike that goes up almost 1500m above sea level to the top of Mount H'Kusam, and then back down again.  23k, which is 2k more than a half marathon, and about 9k farther than my longest run.  It's supposed to be painfully hard, but extremely beautiful.

Reasons I had, to say no:

1. Day after birthday, so there is a possibility of being hungover
2. What am I going to do with my kids?
3. What if I'm not fit enough?

I found childcare, decided to drink responsibly, and screw the doubts.  I'm going to ring in my 30's with this awesome accomplishment and set the bar for what the 30's should hold for me!

I was reading the trail guide to help me learn what to expect, and guess what I found out?  They serve Nanaimo Bars at one of the check points just after you start your decent back down the mountain!!

I'm really nervous about attempting this hike. It is marked as "Extreme" in one of the hiking guides I read, and although I have done  few smaller hikes this year, I would in no way classify myself as a "Hiker".  I AM however, someone who likes challenges and doing things that others, or even myself, never thought I could do.

So here it goes. I may be crazy, I may not be the fastest, I may have to take breaks, I may will be in pain, but I will cross that finish line and know that I AM TOUGH ENOUGH.  I hope

Pre-30th-Birthday Adventure

**I've been having issued formatting my pics on blogger, so this post has taken me a few days**

3am, Up and making an iced coffee for the road.

4am, I meet up with my Mom to head out on the road with our coffees in hand!

6:30am, Just leaving the dock on the ferry, what a great view first thing in the morning.

10am, after going out for breakfast at Joe's, we headed over to the Salon to meet up with Nash.

This was my last picture before having my hair done by the master!

All Foiled up!

Nash was trying to show me that my hair did in fact have some wave to it.  

Here is the finished product.  At the moment it was a little out of my comfort zone, but now when I look back at it, it looks great!

After having our hair done, we met up with my Aunty and went for mani/pedis!  I was so spoiled!

I've been doing Photo-a-day on instigram, and this day's pic was supposed to be "yellow" so I chose yellow for my toes!

Last but not least we headed out to Las Margaritas for guess.... Margaritas and Mexican food! Here is my, my Mom and my Aunty!

A new beginning! (Or at least it feels like one)

Last night I announced to my MFP (MyFitnessPal) pals that I was going to take a break from logging.

I feel like ever since then (a whopping 16 hours) I have been set free.

I went and did a killer workout this morning with my friend Jen.  I felt so good, I decided to try running for the first time in 8 weeks!!  It felt pretty good, just a little tightness/discomfort afterwards, but nothing painful.

I went to the health food store today.  I love going to the health food store.  When you buy stuff there, its like you're automatically getting healthier.

Today's adventure item was Chia seeds.  All the cool health bloggers out there have raved about them, so obviously I had to try.

Here are some of the benefits of Chia seeds:

They help you say full longer because they expand to 9 times their size
They are a great source of Omega 3's
They have no taste so they mix easily in to many different foods
They help give you energy
They cleanse your digestive system
They help balance your blood sugar so you experience less cravings

Today I sprinkled a tablespoon on my salad for lunch.  I didn't taste them at all, and I'm looking forward to including them as a regular part of my diet.

Also, I had mentioned wanting to try juicing ever since I watched "Hungry for Change" a month or so ago.  Today I finally dug out my juicer and bought the veggies to do it.  I ended up juicing this whole plates worth!

Its no Ice Cap (I had one after), but it certainly wasn't bad.  

Today I feel so pumped and balanced.  

Tonight after my daycare kids leave, I'm taking my kids BACK to the gym for my first ever ZUMBA class!  Wish me luck!

Everyday I'm Gym'n it!

Ok, not really everyday, but every weekday I am home, I plan to gym it.  I know its only day two but spending an hour each morning to myself, possibly getting my Netflix affair back ON feels like a win/win to me!

This morning I was a little tired when I got up, but still just as excited.  I even made it there 5 whole minutes earlier than yesterday.  I thought about joining the spin class, but it still seems pretty intimidating.  I feel weird because I don't know the typical group class etiquette.  Like what if I unknowingly take someone's favorite spot and then they turn into an angry honey-badger and curse me out in their heads the whole class. Am I supposed to just grab whichever bike I want? Do I introduce myself to the teacher as a newbie, or is that tacky and overboard? Achem, because cool people like me worry about that stuff.

On a more positive note I did try something new today: The Row Machine.  I had stared at this one before. I *may* have rolled my eyes at it and thought "Who would want to row at the gym? That seems like a cop-out workout."  (Yes, I too can be judgemental, but I am SO MUCH BETTER about it than I used to be).  Since I am still (WTF) injured, and needing low-impact cardio, and the step machine didn't help the situation I decided it was time.  Time to try the row machine.  I really only felt awkward for the first 5 minutes.  The last 5 minutes were good until my arms and back were spent.

Verdict on the gym so far... I LOVE IT!

On the nutrition side of things is a whole new story.

*WARNING*  -- Lack of perfection ahead

So I'm pretty much in full blown "I feel like a failure mode".  In the last 8 weeks... (taking a breath, holy shit its been 8 weeks) since my hip injury, I have had two good weeks, two botched comebacks, lots of bad days and some good days.  I tracked EVERYTHING up until a week ago.  I feel like in the last two months tracking has not been helping me, its been hurting me.  All these guilty feelings and stress have been causing me to spiral a little bit out of  way out of control.  On May 31st I was 217.6 so I had only gained 2.8lbs from my lowest in April so even though I have spiralled, its not AS bad as it could have been.  I'm probably sitting around 221/222 right now with water retention and increased food intake.

My current plan is:

1. focus on getting my GYM on  
2. relax a little bit
3. work on the root problems to why I gained weight in the first place

I feel like number 3 is the most important going forward because I felt the change in my confidence and mojo as soon as I hit the 220's.   Like a ton of bricks hitting me, something inside just said STOP.  I need to get to the bottom of this so I can move forward and so when I get to my goal I can stay there.

So there you have it, the good, bad, funny, and the painfully awkward.