Hold UP!

This has been one very challenging week.

I did great getting all my workouts in, and getting them done in the morning.  I usually put up my weekly recap today, but I don't feel like going through it in detail.  Basically it was: working out was GREAT, my food not-so-much.  I ate every single one of my exercise calories this week and probably by the end of today, plus some.

I had a lot on my plate, and I hate saying/admitting that because its an excuse.  I had a lot going on behind the scenes as well that has thrown me off my game somewhat.  I feel like I'm caught somewhere in between being too hard on myself, and giving myself too much slack.

I weighed in just to check today I was only down 1lb from last week.  I'm not really surprised as I have had a few high sodium days and lots of lifting again this week.  Even though I know I have lots of reasons to be up a 1lb, its totally getting to me mentally.  As much as I would like be able to tell you all that its ok, it still gets to me when I see numbers that are not where I expected them to be.

Where does this leave me?

I think I'm going to forget about the f'n scale until the 1st of May.  My theory being that during my month off the scale, if I had a bad day, it was easier to get back on track. Right now if I mess up on Monday I feel like I ruined my week.  Then I use it as an excuse to slack and then "go hard next week".  (insert eye-roll here since I hate excuses, yet I still listen to my own sometimes and it makes me feel weak)

Also, although I love the strength and muscle I am building with ChaLEAN,it doesn't make as big of a difference on the scale.  Long-term its a great thing, but short-term while I'm chasing 199 for my birthday, all I really want is to get there.  In two weeks when I'm done ChaLEAN I'm going into operation 199 mode.  strength train once a week to maintain what I have built, and the rest will be cardio cardio cardio and getting a little more strict with my diet.

AFTER my birthday I will be 'back to normal', probably higher calories and hopefully just concentrating on my fitness goals while I am on the home-stretch of my journey.  I swear 199 is my last scale goal even though I will continue to lose weight after I hit it.  It's just too much pressure for me.  I can't stop thinking how many pounds I have to go.  I can't concentrate on the small goals because every time I do, I immediately relate it to 199.

By May 1st I hope to be down to 214.  Then I would have 7.5 weeks to drop 15lbs which would be 2lbs a week.  That's doable right???



P.S.  Sorry for the rambling today!