Well, failiure after failiure has lowered my confidence in my perserverance. Even with that, I am daring to say that I feel confident that this time, I'm doing it!
I feel like MFP is changing my life. I feel strong right now, and with every challenge I overcome, I feel even better. I know that the closer I get to goal, the harder I will have to work, but I am up for that challenge too! Keeping focussed on my diet and fitness day-by-day and week-by-week is really helping I think. When I think about the BIG picture (losing 167lbs total) it seems almost impossible, BUT when I think about losing 2lbs this week, or even burning 500cal today, it seems doable!
I charted out my goals today. I want to be 240 at New Years. I would have to lose an average of 2.7lbs a week for the next 9 weeks to get there. Seems like a lot of pressure, BUT if I can do it, then if I lose an average of 1.6lbs a week until my Birthday in June, I will be at my mini goal of onederland by my 30th! That way, anything more than that is a BONUS!!
I'm only 7 weeks in, but that's 4 more weeks than the last time I really tried. I see no signs of slowing down, and I am not depriving myself.
I think I need to stop reading the exercise cals posts on MFP. I mean really everyone is so hard-core one way or the other. I'm in the middle, leaning more towards the don't eat them side... FOR NOW. The way I am understanding it the fatter you are, the less-likely you will be to go into starvation mode. ALSO from what I understand, you need to be consistantly restricting yourself to do so. My calories are all over the place, sometimes under my daily, sometimes over, but I always keep my week under total. I think for me, this is a realistic way of handling my metabolism. Mix it up, like an informal zig-zagging. I guess we'll see, how it all pans out. I'm excited for when I weigh less and need to eat my calories more often. At my goal weight BMR is 1400, so I'm guessing daily caloric requirement would be around 1800-2000, and then I would ALSO get to eat some exercise cals!!! Man I can't wait.
I want to be athletic also. I really want to continue my running, and do it for fun. Maybe even run a few 5ks. I love my turbo jams, and I'm looking forward to Turbo Fire and Chalene Extreme. Maybe when I'm at maintenance I can use them for days when I really want to treat myself, or just for fun also!
Ha ha, I'm so all over the place right now, but I'm just so excited for the future! I can't wait to feel "normal" again and not be the token FAT chick.