Sunday, 30 December 2012

2012 Review (I did what?!)

At this point in the year, finishing off 'only' 10lbs lighter than I started... I'm not going to lie, I feel like a failure.  All those workouts, all my tracking, all for what... 10 measly pounds?

Well, lets break it down a bit here.  I started out the year with the 30 day shred and completed it...

Then I took on Chalean Extreme for 3 months. I finished month one and two but in April I injured my hip and stopped most activity aside from walking.

Speaking of my hip injury, I injured it during a 14 KILOMETER run!  Who would have thought... especially when I was 307lbs that I (Megan Armstrong) would RUN for 14k straight! Well I did stop to pee once, but other than that, I did NOT stop!

After that I took it pretty easy until June.  I struggled during that time, feeling like a failure with my injury and ate my feelings.  Then one of my friends suggested... THE KUSAM KLIMB (caps for dramatic effect only... I'm not really yelling people). Just a brief overview (you can click the link for full details) but it was a 23k course up and over a freaking mountain... and I saw a real live hungry bear.

After the climb my knee and hip still weren't treating me well so I drifted in the land of the unknown, a place where I wanted to workout but couldn't for... pretty much the rest of the year.  I tried Weight Watchers from August to October, but had to quit due to the fact that I got infected with child.  (<= That is just my dry humor, I absolutely LOVE whatever being I am creating in uterus land... Just in case you think I'm horrible for referring to my pregnancy that way... trust me, I've said WAY worse).

Then came morning sickness, fatigue and all the other joys that aren't super conducive to living a super healthy lifestyle.

Also the second half of the year I have had to deal with my own personal battle with anxiety and a few other personal family issues that took my focus away.

SO... *breath*  even though I am 'only' 10lbs lighter, I have also accomplished amazing things, I have gained a fetus, and I am (currently) back on track living a healthy lifestyle (thanks to no more morning sickness and not being as big as a whale yet!).

One last thing, and its definitely not the least... I have been a pretty darn awesome mom to my two kiddos!!

Lots of people are talking about goals for next year.  This new years, I'm not putting any extra pressure on anything. I will try my best to live each day to its full potential while balancing it with relaxation, family time and rest off my feet once I'm at full-blown-fetal-capacity!

Thursday, 27 December 2012

The End Of A Year!

There is no question that my momentum slowed this year. I was on fire for the first few months but started having trouble around March when I started Chalean Extreme.  Then I suffered a hip injury that plagued me for the rest of the year (I can STILL feel it now).  I managed to renew my motivation until an issue in my personal life through me for a huge loop and then later I found out I was pregnant.

However, I started the year at 245, my low was about 215 in early may, and now at 15 weeks pregnant I am back up to 232.  This means that overall... my year has still been a success.  I am still down 75lbs total from my heaviest, and can only concentrate on moving forward!

I hope that in 2013 I can live a healthy pregnancy lifestyle until baby is born, take some recovery time and then get back to my Megan 2.0 Project self.  I found I got a lot of motivation from my last pregnancy, so hopefully I gain some from this one too!

Looking forward to getting back to blogging as well as it has been quite a break for me.  At the end of the Summer I said I was dealing with some things that I would explain later, and those issues were anxiety.  I had a few panic attacks and some daily anxiety creep up and have tried very hard to simplify my life to remove and extra stresses and really concentrate on my mental state.

I am doing much better when it comes to that now, and although I have put things in place in my life to prevent the anxiety, it is no longer a daily issue for me to battle it.

So here is to a positive and productive 2013!!

Saturday, 27 October 2012

Blog Break

I've decided to take a little blog break until December.  I have a lot going on and need to figure some things out (yep, I'm captain vague).  Anyhow, I will be returning to fill you in and move forward in December!

Until then I hope everyone is doing well!

Sunday, 7 October 2012

Remembering progress already made.

Even though I have not been anywhere close to being OP lately, I had a few NSV's today.

Two years ago I went to the pumpkin patch with my son, and took a few pictures as I was 4 months pregnant and wanted to pretend that I was actually showing. Instead I looked t the pictures horrified at my size.

Today my family and I went pack o the same pumpkin patch and I took another picture an was very happy that I still look much different from the first.

Friday, 28 September 2012

Rounding the corner!

I gave myself some slack this week to deal with things going on outside of Megan 2.0.  The scale will probably me angry with me, but I feel like I'm really going to be prepared to give it my all next week!

I know what happened to me earlier in the year when I didn't take breaks and allowed myself to take on too much... Let's just say it wasn't pretty.

In fact, you know what?  I'm going to put it out there as it's now behind me.  Early this summer I started suffering from panic attacks and anxiety.  I'm pretty sure part of it was just putting too much on myself and consuming my brain in an all-or-nothing approach to weight-loss, where I felt like a failure if I was FIVE calories over for the day.  I sweated all the small stuff.
That was actually the reason why I was so quiet during July and most of August.  I had to get my head in a good place and get back the mental strength I needed to continue.

Now, while I will push myself, I will not push myself TOO hard to where I endanger my emotional wellness.

This week I had so much going on that stressing about the small things was NOT a healthy option for me. I know how easily I can over-stress things and for me I really need to prioritize.  It's something that I am learning to do on this journey.  Also, I was aware that I would have more knowledge on said stressful situation by this coming week. This resulted in my time-frame (7 days) where I would focus on more important things than losing pounds (yes they do exist).

I'm already feeling much better and I'm looking forward to bringing my A-Game next week and making some progress... or... at least make-up for this week.

So like Bob says up top, I fully intend to "Stand up and finish what I started".

Tuesday, 25 September 2012

It's MY Journey

I say this because I'm making a decision that I'm sure many 'perfect' dieters don't choose.  I'm taking a week off to deal with the other things going on in my life and not feel guilty too guilty about it.

Right now there are a lot of questions that I don't have answers to and quite frankly, my friends Big Mac and Fries seem to make me feel more at peace than Weight Watchers does at this moment.

Image Source

Does this mean I'm giving up??


I'm just giving myself one week to get my head wrapped around the things in my life that have just taken a sudden change and figure out which direction the winds are blowing.  Monday I will start with fresh weekly points, a fresh weigh-in and more knowledge than I have today.  I should know a lot more about things (and thus be able to deal with them in a more effective manor) by Monday.

Its MY journey and on MY journey I take breaks when I feel like I need them.  Its part of my version of balance.   Hopefully one day I will be so set in my ways that I have better ways of dealing with stresses but today the choice is: more stress and anxiety (the situation I have to deal with PLUS the fact that I'm struggling) OR less stress and anxiety and an easier time concentrating on important temporary matters.

I'm not saying it's the right way, I'm saying that at this time in my journey its MY way.

Sunday, 23 September 2012

What a weekend! + Weigh-in

This weekend was a lot of things.

On Thursday I dropped my iPhone in the toilet. So by Friday night ended up acquiring a new one. Pretty handy since the new iPhone was released in stores on Friday (where I am anyways).

Saturday I kept busy with my kids going to the gym and out to a birthday party.

Sunday was my 5 year wedding anniversary. It ended up being a typical Sunday for us, with a few extra "Can you believe we've been married for FIVE years!?" statements. I went to the gym, and we all headed out to watch my 3 year old during his hockey class.

On the downside, I've been dealing with some pretty emotional things going on with someone close to me so I ended up caving on the food situation. I DID however keep it within my points values (used all weekly and all but 9 activity points) and I was down 0 this week. Still sitting at 221.8. On one hand I want to be happy about not gaining right now, but I feel like I've been putting a lot of effort in and I'm not seeing a return yet. 2.2lbs for 4 weeks of discipline doesn't seem fair enough.

I'm determined to keep with the plan for now though. Maybe I'm retaining some fluid from my strength training classes or some other reason, who knows.

I just know that if I don't start seeing that number go down shortly, I'm probably going to lose it!

Friday, 21 September 2012

It's Friday!

I've meant to blog all week, but didn't really know what to say.

Don't get me wrong, things are all going well, I guess I was just not in the mood or something.

Also yesterday my iPhone made a suicide attempt in my toilet and is currently stashed in a bag of rice while we attempt to make a recovery (fingers crossed)!

I've been pretty on-point with me eating all week.  Its Friday and I have only used 12 weekly points so far. 

Yesterday I met my cousin at Starbucks for a coffee date after my Group Power class and decided I would have a little treat.  I tried to pick out something yummy but not outrageous on the points.  I (for previously mentioned reasons) did not have my phone with me to look up nutritional info, so I tried to make an educated guess.  I had 3 left for the day so I thought I could spend an additional 5-6 or my weekly points to indulge.  I chose to have a slice of their lemon poppyseed loaf.  Sounds innocent enough right?  Well I found out when I got home and logged it, that the darn thing was 13 POINTS!!  Ouch!!

Overall I've been feeling pretty good about my choices and how satisfied I have been at the end of the day.  Exercise wise I feel pretty good. I haven't been going balls to the walls yet but I have done 2 Group Power classes, one 3k run + elliptical session and one walk at lunch so far.

Monday, 17 September 2012

Feeling STRONG! (Weigh-in)

Since my Tabata Class went so well on Saturday, I decided to check out another class.  This one was Group Power. Group power is a strength training barbell based class.  

Now, I had everything planned.  I dropped off the kids at the daycare in the gym, brought a protein shake for after the workout, arrived early to grab my spot, and even wore my new shirt (below).  

About 2 minutes into the warm-up, one of the staff came to grab be because my darling spirited demon child, decided to throw the mother of all temper tantrums. This has been something that has been increasing in frequency and severity (and oh so much FUN... not).  I had to go calm her down before I could return to class, and THANKFULLY she decided it was ok for me to leave and I got to go enjoy my class.

The class itself was a great workout!  I have been looking to add some more strength training into my routine and this was a fun way to get it in. 

Here I am after class in my new shirt that I had made.  I love it!

Oh right, I almost forgot... Today was a weigh-in day.  

So on the weekend, apparently I decided it was a good time to eat.... well... a bunch of CRAP. I ended up just BARELY keeping my week on point, but I did use all of my activity points to do so. I also did that Tabata class which made me sore all over (possibly retaining fluid).  Needless to say, I did not have high hopes for big losses this week.  

I stepped on the scale this morning and it said 221.8 which meant I was down .2lbs for the week.   Considering my weekend and the potential I had for water retention I was almost expecting a gain, so I was happy to see any loss at all, even if it was only .2.  

Saturday, 15 September 2012

Go ME!

So, if you met me one year ago, at the beginning if my fitness journey, you probably wouldn't have known that I was concerned at all with fitness.  I was so concerned with hiding my efforts, and what other people might have to say about them, to do anything other than walking in public.

Today I took my second ever fitness CLASS to celebrate how far I have come.  Yep, I exercised in public, with other people, in front of a bunch of mirrors.

I was very nervous, because I had heard intimidating things about Tabata classes. For those who don't know what Tabata is, it's a form of high intensity interval training where you do one exercise as hard as you can for 20 seconds followed by 10 seconds of rest. Then you repeat it 7 more times.  You do the same thing with the following exercises until you are finished and lying panting on the floor.

When I arrived, I got set up and had a look in the mirror.  At first I was picking out things that I was feeling self-concious about and imagining the other ladies thinking mean things about me.

Then I told my subconscious to STFU and let it GO.  I didn't alter my exercises to minimize the jiggle, I didn't avoid unflattering moves, I just decided to go for it!

The class was great, I had a great instructor.  She was the type that makes you comfortable and relaxed, you know she doesn't take things too seriously.  Also, none of the other ladies glared at me or made mean comments. In fact, they were actually quite nice!

There was a few times where I was feeling really winded, but I looked at my tattoo and remembered that I CAN do this... so I did.

By the end I was a sweaty, red-faced mess, and I loved it!

Take THAT self doubt!

Friday, 14 September 2012

I'm hanging on!

So remember earlier in the week when I was saying how I had been emotionally eating?

Well I am happy to report that I have bounced back and still have 28 of my weekly points in tact along with 23 of my activity points earned (so far).   Thank goodness.  I think Pumpkin Fluff saved me yesterday, because I was set on having something sweet.

I was just reading this article with weight loss tips over at and it got me thinking about my own sleep habits.  I do notice that when I am tired, my willpower becomes weak.  That could have been part of my problems on Monday because I had been up later than usual watching a movie on Sunday night...

What do you think? Does sleep affect your eating patterns?

Anyhow.  After taking my progress pictures yesterday, I think I am really starting to be proud of the progress I have made so far.  I mentioned yesterday that sometimes I still feel like my before picture, and I do, but now I can see such a significant change that it's helping me realize that even when I mess up, I am no where near where I started and I DO have the strength to keep going!!

I Am Tough Enough!

Thursday, 13 September 2012


Today marks the day where I have been actively trying to live a healthier life for one entire year!!

1 year ago, I couldn't walk far without panting.  I couldn't run for longer than 30 seconds.  I couldn't wear the necklaces that my husband had given to me for birthdays and anniversaries.  I listened to my excuses more often than not.  I ate whatever would make me happy that day.  I wore size 24 jeans and 3-4x shirts.  I hid from photos. I was afraid to do anything physical in public besides walking.

Since September 13th 2011, I have lost 65lbs, run 14k, climbed a mountain, dealt with injuries, fallen off track, gotten back on track, completed 30 day shred, completed Chalean Extreme, used MFP, used Weight Watchers Online (currently), discovered a new interest in biking, enhanced friendships through exercise, tried Zumba and so much more!

Here I am 1 year ago, and today.

The changes have been gradual, and I would be lying if I said some days I didn't feel like I was still my before picture. 

Many times I find myself feeling disappointed that I didn't make more progress in this last year.  I've watched other people on their journey's lose weight more consistently, people lose weight faster than I.  Some people don't lose motivation half-way through, or have the mental strength to keep level headed and power through their injuries.  Those people are not me.  

My journey is not about anyone else BUT me.  

While I have had months of maintaining and even gaining weight throughout my journey, weight is not the only way I measure my progress.  

The Megan 2.0 Project is about making a better version of myself, not only in my physical health, but in many other aspects including my mental health, being a better mother, better wife, better business owner, better childcare provider, better friend, acting with integrity, being honest and responsible (even when its hard) and making myself a person that I am proud to be.  

My journey is no where NEAR close to the finish, I am still a WORK IN PROGRESS.  I have a feeling that I will always be a work in progress, but the more I work, the happier I am with the person I am right now, and feel comfortable with the fact that I am becoming a better person with each passing day!

Monday, 10 September 2012

Weigh-in (Week 2 of Weight Watchers)

This week I worked the plan.  I really like the no-guilt feeling of grabbing fruits and veggies when I'm hungry, I think its a really healthy habit to form.  Counting points seems to be getting easier, so overall I'm enjoying WW!

Weekly Points Used : 19
Activity Points Earned: 28

I weighed in at 222lbs, which puts me at a 1lb loss for the week.

This means I used 21 LESS points than I used last week and still only lost 1lb.

I'm kind of kicking myself for thinking like that, but I was really hoping for 2lbs this week. I felt like all my extra effort this week was a waste!

At the very least I am moving in the right direction. I need to remember that not too long ago I was out of control and gaining weight. Also I haven't been as active as I normally am when I am really giving it my all.

Putting it all out there, I did overdo my food consumption today.  I stupidly used some of my weekly points on what I can only explain as emotional eating.  Tomorrow is a new day, and I'm prepared to bring it!

Thursday, 6 September 2012

10 Day WIN & Pumpkin Fluff

10 completed days on Weight Watchers!!  Yay me!!  I am 1/4 way through my mini goal of staying within my WW points for 6 weeks!

I've been getting more and more comfortable with Weight Watchers and would say this week has been less challenging for me.  I'm not quite as hungry as I was last week so that's been making it easier.  I'm also getting the hang of inputting all my foods.  It sure is a nice break from calorie counting.

One thing I haven't been doing as much of this week is exercise.  I wanted to get in more, but I have found myself really busy with the beginning of the school year.  I've decided not to stress too much about this and just work on doing what I can for now.  I DID however finally receive my copy of The New Rules Of Lifting For Women in the mail yesterday!  I plan to read the book and then get started on my workouts. For the food portion I will take into account what they say, but probably just stagger my weekly points to use (some) on lifting days. 

One of my Facebook Page fans gave me a fantastic recipe!  The recipe is for Pumpkin Fluff.

1 can pumpkin puree
1 tub 95% Fat Free Cool Whip
1 package Sugar-Free Fat-Free Vanilla pudding mix
1 tsp pumpkin pie spice

Thaw the cool whip.  Combine ingredients and mix well in a bowl.  Chill for 20min and serve!

Basically you can eat it on its own, with graham crackers (or other sweet cracker) OR as I discovered this morning, as a topping to your oatmeal!   This stuff is absolutely delicious and filling.  1/2 cup works out to 1-2 PP. I always overestimate and say 2 because I feel like I'm treating myself big-time when I eat it!.

Tuesday, 4 September 2012

My new addition!

I decided to get this tattoo after completing the >Kusam Klimb< back in June.   The Klimb itself (23k total including a 5000ft elevation gain) was intense and had me in tears, many a time.  There were times I thought I couldn't go on, times I felt like I was one slip away from severe injury or death, times I wanted to quit... but one step at a time I conquered that mountain.  When I crossed the finish line, one of the organizers yelled at me "YOU ARE TOUGH ENOUGH" and it really hit home.  Not just for climbing the mountain, but for many many other reasons.  I realised... I AM tough enough... 

This tattoo will serve as a reminder to me that when things get hard or I doubt myself, that I CAN do it... It may not be easy but I am Tough Enough.

This tattoo was done by Jacques Pouliot of Frenchman Tattoo in Campbell River

Monday, 3 September 2012

Weight Watchers Pasta with Broccoli and Goat Cheese REVIEW

Since I got my new Weight Watchers cook book "Weight Watchers New Complete Cookbook", I have been just waiting to try some recipes.  Today I chose the Pasta with Broccoli and Goat Cheese to be my first for 7PP.

The recipe was filling, and not bad.  I think I would make this again, BUT I would make a few changes.
  • Instead of using lemon zest, I would use straight-up lemon juice (I didn't enjoy the zest flavor).
  • I would roast the broccoli with garlic powder instead of cooking it in a skillet with garlic cloves. 
  • I would maybe add a few bacon bits for fun!

First weigh-in on Weight Watchers

Down 1 lbs!!

I'm happy, but at the same time a little disappointed, and I'll tell you why.  I cheated.  I weighed myself SEVERAL times during the week and saw lower numbers so I just assumed that today would be even lower and I would have an AMAZING week weight-loss-wise. Had I kept to the once weekly weigh-in I would be totally cool with it.

What's my current weight you ask? It's 223.  Down from the 230 I was on July 30th after gaining 10lbs through the months of May, June and July.  It sucks to have to be re-losing this weight, but at the same time, I'm not too far away from breaking new ground!

My goals for next week:

  • Stay OP
  • Workout 5 times
  • Meet all my Healthy Checks
  • Don't weigh until next Monday
Really after the last few months I'm just thankful to be moving in the right direction again.

Sunday, 2 September 2012

Love the new direction.

So here I am, currently on day six! Been a few days since I blogged, but don't worry about me, I'm totally rocking it out!

Good news:  I officially lost just over 7lbs in August!!  Only 3 more to go and I'll be back to breaking new ground!!  I'm so excited to be getting closer to so many big milestones (1 year on my journey, 100lbs lost, overweight BMI, and ONEDERLAND).

Days 4,5 and 6 have gone very well.  I used up the rest of my weekly points today on this salad.

Spinach topped with blueberries, strawberries, ginger pecans, smoked salmon, and goat cheese! I followed it up with a fresh open topped blueberry pie! So delicious!!

It probably didn't require all the rest of my weekly points but I overestimated and still have 28 activity points that I shall leave untouched.

My new weigh-in days are Mondays so I'll be able to update everyone on my first week's results with Weight Watchers then. It feels like I have been doing it for longer than a week already.

Hope you all have a fantastic long-weekend! I plan to relax and enjoy some down time before the chaos of a new daycare year begins!

Wednesday, 29 August 2012

Day 3... I'm on a roll

Ok, so maybe its 'only' day 3, but I feel like I am working this plan.

I found out my oatmeal is only 3 PP so combined with a banana and a greek yogurt my whole breakfast was 6PP.

One thing I am having to adjust to is that for the most part, no matter how many fruits and veggies I consume, they don't usually fill me up.  Therefore, I am left with a semi-hungy feeling faster than usual.  Right now I am attributing it to the change in intake since I am quite certain I was eating more (often much more) before starting Weight Watchers.

From the Weight Watchers site, I got the idea that my weekly points could be used for treats, so tonight I indulged by using some for a nice after dinner ice cream treat, instead of my usual 4PP skinny cow.  Hopefully having a few moderate indulgences per week (as opposed to many large ones or none at all) will keep me from feeling deprived and end up keeping me on track long term!

Tuesday, 28 August 2012


That's right! I've rocked out my second day in a row!  I'm doing pretty good so far.

My second day impression is that on Weight Watchers, in order to keep full and be successful, it's important to pair every meal with fruit and veggies.  It's something I knew going in, but it's really making more sense now.  It's also something that I think is a positive habit to get into.

To help keep me on track I have revived the short-term goal.  I printed and laminated a 6-week goal sheet that I can re-use.  My first goal is to complete 6 weeks of Weight Watchers and stay on point each week :)

Today while I was shopping I came across this cook book!  I think a good goal for me would be to try at least one new recipe from this book per week.  With 500 recipes to choose from it should keep me busy for a while.  Right?

So, here we go, on to day 3!  

Monday, 27 August 2012


Yesterday I made the decision (which I have been thinking about for months now) to join Weight Watchers Online.  

Since I have been freaking out over numbers on MFP for quite some time, I liked the idea of the free fruits and vegetables and the weekly flex points for days when I feel the need to indulge without going off plan! 

A few of my favorite inspirations Skinny Jeans Dreams and Weight Off My Shoulders have been very successful on their journey's using Weight Watchers, and I watched both of them hit maintenance earlier this year!

So, today was my first day tracking.  

Right off the bat, I noticed it was a little more difficult (but not too much) to track foods because their database doesn't have nearly the amount of foods that MFP has in theirs.  That being said it IS pretty easy to look up the numbers on MFP and put them into the calculator.  Once most of my foods are in there it should run a lot smoother for me.  

I also really like the idea that once I hit my points for the day there are a ton of 0 point foods that I can choose from if I'm still feeling hungry. Also, I can dip into my weekly points or earn some activity points.  In that way, I think it will help with the feeling of being restricted. 

I ended the day perfectly 'on point', and meeting all of my 'Healthy Checkpoints'.  

My plan for this week (and possibly next) is to focus on getting the hang of the Weight Watchers Program, and just incorporate some light activity.  Then once I'm feeling pretty confident I'm going to step up my workouts.  Hopefully in the mean time my hip will heal up some more.  

On the other hand, I have these weird feelings of guilt by switching from MFP to WW.  MFP got me this far.  It gave me my start, and it definitely works. I think I might just need a change in the way I've been thinking about food.  Ever since I started to really look into what Weight Watchers had to offer, I've been surprised with how well-rounded their approach seems to be.  

But I'm really attached to my MFP Pals as well.  It's a good thing MFP is free and I can check in on them all the time, but I still don't think it will be the same...  

Sunday, 26 August 2012

Holy WOW.

Today was my Mother's Birthday.  This year we decided to celebrate by going out for breakfast and then hitting up the Comox Valley Exhibition and Fair.

We had a really great time with all the festivities....

That was until I made the choice to accompany my father on The Zipper.  

For some reason, I thought I could handle this ride.   I was very... VERY wrong.  I ended up screaming for half the ride "I'M DONE... LET ME OFF... I'M DONE... STOP... PLEASE STOP".  Meanwhile the ride kept going and going and going while I was on the verge of an anxiety attack.  I broke out into a full-body sweat and by the time I got off my forearms and hands were shaky and all pins and needles.   As a got off the operator said to me "Bah, you'll be fine".  

My family has strict instructions to NEVER allow me to even entertain the idea of going on that death trap again!!

Counting calories and the fair don't mix, so I'll be back on top of that tomorrow.  The mini donuts were good while they lasted.  Thank goodness I believe in moderation!

Right now I'm just hoping I don't have nightmares of that stupid ride.  

Saturday, 25 August 2012

Ready for September!

Taking some down time today.  Time to just relax and go where the day takes us.  Even if that means just playing, cleaning and watching movies all day.

Spring/Summer always has me feeling exhausted and over-reached by the end because I focus so much on getting my kids out and experiencing exciting things.  This year we've gone to parks, Butterfly World, Beacon Hill Petting Zoo, numerous community events, hiked, camped, seen logger sports, gone boating, gone to the top of mountains, seen giant sand castles, bumper boats, monster trucks, car races and much much more.

Between running my daycare (with my two kiddos in it) 40-50 hours a week, then taking my kids out to do things every weekend and only have one "family" day per week (as my husband works 6 days a week currently) its no wonder I have been off-track this summer.  I'm lucky I have handled my weight as good as I have, not to mention my hip injury.

With another stressful week ahead of me, I am welcoming September with open arms.

On Friday I had to say good-bye to one of my daycare families who has been with me almost 2 years, and next Friday I will have to say good-bye to 3 more.  I've had to say goodbye to a lot of kids in my career, but these are the first set that I have been with every day, 5 days a week, for two years plus.  It's affecting me a lot more than I anticipated.  I find myself hoping I have done my job and helped prepare them to take on their new adventures.  I'm also sad for my kids and the few I have staying, to lose their friends who they have grown to love over the last few years.  I wonder/hope these children will still remember me in a few years. I know I don't remember ANY of my daycare teachers from that age.

I would like to handle these feeling by going out for a run, but this STUPID hip injury has me limited to biking, weights and low-impact cardio... Its just not the same!!

I really feel like September will be getting back to normal and allowing me to focus on myself more.  All my transitions will be complete, and I'll be ready to make some new goals.  I have the book "The New Rules Of Lifting For Women" on its way, and I'm hoping I like it and can start it at the gym.  I also should be recovering from my hip injury and be able to get out running again.  September just seems like such a good time to re-focus, even more than I already have.  I'm not off-track right now, but I'm not going full steam ahead either.

Thursday, 23 August 2012

Roasted Broccoli

Tried a new recipe for lunch today.  Well, it was actually in addition to my lunch.  I was thinking that I needed a little something extra, and I have been struggling to get all my veggies in some days.  I have to say, this was a delicious and easy way to get in some greens.

1 Head of broccoli
1 Tsp of Olive Oil
1 Tsp of bread crumbs (optional)
Garlic powder
1 Tbsp of Parmasan

Pre-Heat Oven to 425 degrees.

Chop up the broccoli into bite sized pieces.  Put the broccoli in a bowl and toss with olive oil.  Sprinkle on
the garlic powder, bread crumbs and parmesan.

Spread the broccoli over a cookie sheet and bake for 9-11 minutes until tender.

Low Cal Tuna Melts

These have been a big lunch favorite lately!

1 plain rice cake
Sliced pickle (Enough to cover rice cake)
1/2 Can tuna
1 Portioned slice of cheese (I used Great Value slices)

I placed the pickle on the rice cake.  Then I patted the Tuna down on the pickle and topped with the cheese slice.  When melted the cheese held it together pretty good.

Broil until the cheese is melted how you like (I like mine slightly browned) and you're good to go!

Very quick and easy!

165 cal for one, and I usually have two for 330 cals.

I paired these with some carrots and a greek yogurt the other day for my lunch.

Wednesday, 22 August 2012

3 week WIN!

No, I didn't win the lottery.  I haven't lost a bazillion pounds.  I'm not an Olympian.  I've got things on my plate (figuratively speaking... ya know, in my non-blog life).

You may be wondering how I'm winning right now.

Well,  I haven't given up in the last 3 weeks - win. I am down 5.5lbs from the beginning of the month (from the 10 I had gained between April and July) - win.  I feel like I am officially back on my wagon so-to-speak, and even though my wagon may not be going as fast as it has in the past, I'm ok with that now.  Even though I am STILL dealing with an injury, and everything else I am finally in the right mind-set to deal with it in moderation and NOT feel like I'm failing.  WIN

I went to talk to my Doc the other day about my hip.  I thought maybe it could be an IT band issue. We discussed it and decided that running a half-marathon in 6 weeks probably wasn't in the cards for me, but going to physio, and concentrating on getting better was.

Last summer, right before I started my journey, I went on a baking binge.

I was determined to master cakes and cupcakes, and become really good at making all sorts of Food Channel inspired foods.  The problem with that was, I have a weakness when it comes to baked goods.  I would just keep eating it all day long.  In the end I gained about 15lbs last summer.

This summer I have managed to stay AWAY from the cupcakes.  I had a friend ask me the other day to make her some as a going away present.  So I decided that I would do it, but just once this summer.  I'm not going to lie and tell you I only had one... I had bits and pieces throughout the process and fully enjoyed the experience. I just won't be doing it again any time soon.  Moderation people!!  WIN

So here I am, one day at a time, not giving up!!

Wednesday, 8 August 2012

1 week SUCCESS!

Today I celebrate 7 days.  7 days of keeping my food consumption 'in check', and moderately exercising.

I upped my calorie goal to maintenance, and try to make sure I keep a deficit every day by either eating less or exercising.  I'm feeling less pressure, more food, and less STRESS.

I've been doing lots of biking, and a little bit of running.

I may move forward into a more aggressive approach when I'm ready, but maybe not.  This seems to be pretty low key and something I can live with on a regular basis.

I feel in control.

My goal for the next few days is to sit down and make a goal countdown.  In hindsight I realized that I started my spiral out of control when I no longer had small goals.  So my first goal is my HALF MARATHON which is 8.5 weeks away.  I haven't even registered for it yet.  So I should do that, and book a hotel.

Finally, I think I could be really back in the game and ready to win this.  Whether its at a slow pace or a faster one, I will get there.

Monday, 6 August 2012

Checking in, and finally moving forward again!

My computer is on the fritz, so writing is a little more complicated from my phone and I have been avoiding it.

The last two weeks haven't been bad, and the last 5 days have actually gone really well for me. I saw 230 a week or so ago and this morning I saw 226 again so I'm happy to be moving in the right direction!

I bought a bike last week and have been going on some pretty great rides, I'm hoping to make it a habit to substitute for some of my running because I keep getting injured. I went for a few runs last week and was starting to feel it in my hip and knee, so hopefully this will keep me active with less impact!

Saturday, 28 July 2012

Long time no post?

Wow, it's been 2 weeks since my last post.  I think that's the longest I've gone since I started in December.

I've had a lot going on, but not a whole lot to post about.

I'm still tracking, still exercising, and actually, it has been one week since my last caffeinated beverage.  While I am not by any means "off" the wagon... I'm also not by any means really in the game weight-loss wise.

Right now I am just trying to balance everything out, while figuring out what the best plan of action is, for me to continue on in this journey in a balanced way.

I wonder if MyFitnessPal is still the answer for me right now... I don't know.
I've debated joining Weight Watchers for added accountability and a different way of tracking intake... I don't know.
I've considered going back to what worked for me before which was just trying to balance my days so I had a few healthier meals and one not-as-healthy meal. Then exercising whenever I could fit it in... no pressure.  

Whatever I decide needs to be balanced enough to last long-term, and not be as consuming as I have been in the past.  One thing I have learned for myself, is that when it comes to exercise and nutrition, I can be a bit of an extremist.  It consumes me.  I can be very "all or nothing" in that respect, and right now I realise that needs to change into a sustainable balanced approach that works for ME.  While MFP did work for me, the way I have reacted to it lately is NOT working.  I became obsessive, and THAT is not my idea of a healthy approach.  

For now, I'm just holding on... trying my best and working towards figuring out which approach will work for me.

Thursday, 12 July 2012

And it starts...

I have two days of tracking under my belt.   It feels pretty good. 

I weighed yesterday, and the official weight to start is 225.  

**Rambling Ahead**

I can't be too hard on myself, but that means that I am the same weight I was in February.  So, although I have lost and gained, I have made no significant progress (weight-wise) in almost 5 months.  I did get down around 220, and stayed there for a long time, I saw 214.8 one time when I lost almost 5lbs in a week, but then a few weeks later I was back up to 220 again.  So in my head, I kind of omit the 214.8 (because I wasn`t there long), and therefore feel like I have only really gained 5lbs.  

Moving forward, what's on my mind?

Well, I have a personal trainer appointment tomorrow.  I'm feeling really sceptical about it.  The last time I met with this trainer, I did not pick up a very good vibe from her.  I'm hoping it goes well, but I guess we'll see.  My number one priority it getting my cardio back up, and while I haven't been to the gym yet this week, I have done the Canyon View Trail several times and had one rest day so far.  

Today I plan to either do the Canyon View again, or go for a run.  Tomorrow will be my first a.m. workout in weeks, and then next week I intend to resume my a.m. workouts completely.  Now that I am mostly healed less injured I feel like I should be able to get back in the game.  

Its funny.  In my head I feel SO LAZY and like such a failure for the last few months. Then, really when I think about it... I have been injured! I am supposed to be taking it easy and letting my body heal.  I just forget that I am injured and call myself lazy all the time.  Then because I feel lazy, I make poor food choices and feel worse.  Its such a rough spiral. 

Hurt  ->  Rest  ->  Feel Lazy  ->  Eat  -> Feel bad for eating  -> Feel lazy  -> Eat more  .... and so on.

Now comes the task of climbing back out of the hole I dug.  LUCKILY, I only have a 5lb hole to dig this time. I can get back on track and focus on getting my body into the shape I want it and get to the point in my journey where I can enjoy maintenance which is somewhere between 45-75lbs away.  I've already lost 82lbs so I am over half-way no matter which way I split it!!  

Also, I have committed to running a half marathon in October.  It is now just over 12 weeks away.  

One thing is for sure


Positive affirmations:

I will be in control of what goes in my mouth
I will get under the 200lb mark
I will be happy and healthy 


Saturday, 7 July 2012

Productivity in Laziness (Meghan Tonjes)

I am having a lazy day.

Jeff (my Husband) and I went out to a friends 30th birthday party last night.  Since having children, we don't really get out to socialize often, with the exception of the last few weeks. When we do go out, if there is alcohol involved, I'm pretty much guaranteed to fully take advantage of my freedom.  

This morning may have been painful for me. 

Saturdays are usually a jam packed day around here where I get the kids out of the house and get stuff done, but given my "condition" I decided it was a good day to veg.  

Now you may ask how I could have been productive.

I have just spent the last 6 hours exploring the world of this girl:

I found her on Skinny Emmie's Blog a few days ago and I have become totally captivated. 

Can I just say that I'm totally having a one-sided beav-mance (the obvious alternative to a bro-mance) with Ms. Meghan Tonjes.  Not only does she seem to have an awesome, funny, smart, witty, sassy personality, but she SINGS too!! 

After checking her out more and watching way too many of her videos I feel so much more motivated to continue on my journey as a whole person.  Discovering Tonjes and her Project Lifesize (a YouTube channel about self acceptance) gives me hope that I can be happy and strong enough to continue on in my journey and create the Megan 2.0 I set out to.  I have not failed, but encountered an obstacle that needs to be conquered, and its about damn time I get the guts to try again.

Thursday, 5 July 2012

Welcome to my life

Ok, so here it is. I'm having trouble. I'm doubting myself.

*Venting ahead, don't take it TOO seriously*

I have been waiting and looking forward to getting my BodyAge assessment done and starting my personal training package at the gym ever since I signed up almost a month ago.

Today I went in for my appointment. First, the machine wasn't hooked up properly so I didn't get my assessment done. Then I had my nutrition analyzed, and was told to cut back on on fast food, fatty desserts, and water. Yes you read that right, water.

After that I was presented with options to buy more training sessions for 300$ per month.

**Now, I understand that:

A: some people may not know that fatty desserts and fast food contribute to obesity.
B: people judge my knowledge of health and fitness on how I look, and I don't look like a person who runs regularly.
C: trainers are expected to sell you extra training sessions because that's how they make money.

BUT it is so frustrating when people who don't understand anything about me or what I am going through think that telling me simple things like "cut out fast foods and desserts" would actually be something that could help me. If it were that easy, I would have stayed at my goal weight a LONG time ago.

Also when I considered joining a gym in the first place, I didn't even like the idea of spending 50$ a month. Guess what, I'm not paying 300$ per month for someone who doesn't "get" me to tell me how to work out.

Now back to reality, I'm struggling, and struggling hard. My plan (now that I'm all healed up from my hip injury and recovered from the Kusam Klimb, is to get back to running and the gym and get this ball rolling, then tackle my nutrition shortly after.

My half-marathon is 3 months away, and I need to get myself back into running form!

Thursday, 28 June 2012

Aftermath of a mountain climb

Here are a couple of the professional pics taken.  This first one is of my arrival to the Medic hut after you're finished manoeuvring all the steep downhill sections of the mountain.  I was SO relieved to get to this point!!

This second one was when I crossed the finish-line.   I don't care that my time wasn't great, considering there were points where I really wasn't sure I was even going to make the finish line.

Since the race I have been babying my body.  My muscles were pretty sore for the first few days.  After the normal soreness wore off I have recognized that I have some remaining minor injuries that may take a little longer to heal.  My achilles, my knee, and one of my shoulders are still giving me some trouble so I have decided to wait to start the gym again until Tuesday next week.

While I was on my hike I was speaking with Marie (a member of my adopting tribe) who runs marathons, and she gave me some great ideas on how to train for a marathon (or half-marathon in my case) with low-impact exercise.  So once I get going again at the gym, I'd like to start training towards my half marathon in October... Its only about 3 months away!!

I realized while climbing Mount H'Kusam, that I was definitely going to be able to complete my half-marathon in 3 months time.  I climbed a mountain for 7 hours with my heart-rate between 160-180, so running for 3 hours (hopefully less) with my heart-rate between 140-160 is something I CAN do.  I will also be very thankful and happy to be running on mostly flat surface with beautiful views to look at!

Can't wait to be feeling better physically and back on the path to success!!

My weight has gone up again  as well.  I'm sitting at 224lbs right now.  I'm not exactly "proud" of this, but its where I am, and hopefully I will be taking care of that soon!

Sunday, 24 June 2012

That shit was CRAZY! (Kusam Klimb)

June 23rd 2012: An epic journey began, one that I did not fully grasp until I was hanging on for dear life on an icy mountain bluff wishing that I could be at home holding my babies, and hoping I would make it back to see them.  

Last weekend, a friend of mine Jen, posted that she wanted a few people to do the Kusam Klimb with her.  I was hesitant, but after looking over the website and running out of excuses, I made the decision to try.  Jen, Krista and I were going to be the brave ones to conquer the Kusam Klimb.

Here I am first thing in the morning, I was feeling prepped for the day and if anything else, I felt like I looked the part! 

On the way up we stopped at Tim Hortons for oatmeal.  We had to get a little creative to allow Jen to eat hers.  

This is as we were coming into Sayward towards the mountain, which you can't see because of the clouds.

We got out and headed to race packet pick-up, and we were all business. 

Once at the packet pick up, we were getting our bags and shirts.  One of the volunteers looked at me and said "Wow, I feel sorry for YOU, we only have mediums left".  Talk about a blow to start out my day.  In my most bitchiest voice ever I replied shortly "YEP, thanks".  (It sounded really bitchy, trust me)

Then we headed out to the start line for a few pics before the race began.

It seemed like just a few minutes later we started the race.  It started out with 2k down a road to the beginning to the actual trail.

Being that it had rained for the few days before, the trail was very muddy and slippery. 

Right from the beginning of the trail you start heading up quite the incline.  I was expecting it to be hard, but I ended up having to stop every 20-30 feet or so because my heart-rate kept sky-rocketing, even up to 200 at one point.  

I broke down several times before check-point 1 (There are 6, and the first one is ONLY 1.5k from the road).  I didn't want to hold Jen and Krista up and contemplated turning around.  I had no idea how long it was going to take me, and it was SUCH a wake-up call.  I told them they could leave me behind if they needed to.  Many people were passing us and we ended up hiking along-side another group going a similar speed.  

Jen, Krista and I made it to the 2000 foot elevation together.  Shortly after I had settled in with the other ladies going my speed, and lost sight of Jen and Krista.   My new group of people included Sean and Cheryl, Danielle, Niki, Shannon and since I'm absolutely horrible with names I missed the last lady's name.  (I feel horrible because you'd think I'd know after a mountain together!!)

From here I put my camera and phone away for a while because it was rainy and I was getting really tired of taking them out and putting them away.  

I had packed fireball for the Summit and my new group had heard me talking about it.  They said "You have the fireball, we're not letting you out of our sight!".  They didn't either.  After 4 hours of hiking up steep muddy incline, a few slips, some rock climbing, and small breakdowns, Sean yelled down to me 

"Megan I'm at the top!"
"Really?" I replied "Really, you're not fucking with me? Because if you're kidding, I DO have a leatherman"
"No, I'm not kidding, there is a book to sign and everything"

So I proceeded to climb, what I thought was the last, rock bluff.  When I got to the top, I cried... again.  I went and signed the book, and then I saw some of the signage that said "Keta Lake" and I remembered from the trail guide that there was more climbing to be done past that point.  It's a pretty good thing I didn't use my leatherman though because Sean came in really handy for all us ladies later on.  

From there we started into the snow, and the incline was much easier for a while. After about an hour we arrived at another point that we thought was the top.  We rested for a bit, and then decided to start the decent.  There were ropes at this part of the trail to help ensure you could get down safely, but it was still very scary.  We were all slip sliding down and the mountain was VERY steep at this point.  Luckily Sean had experience and confidence and guided each of us down the roughest points.  

When we had made it past that steep section, I was hoping it was going to be transitioning to an easier downhill hike.  I had done a lot of freaking out this far and was feeling very scared.  This was my "scared shitless but I'm ok right now" face.

We walked past this beautiful lake (way better in person) and then saw it.  

THEN, there was another GIANT mother fucking straight up, snow packed hill for us to climb up.   This was where it got even scarier for me, and it got real.  As we were all making our way, very slowly, up this hill, Shannon slipped and slid down 20-30 feet, and in that 2 seconds Sean managed to dash like a lightening bolt to try to intercept.  Luckily she stopped at a lull in the snow, but an other few feet and it would have been straight down into that icy lake. 

Eventually we all made it up to the REAL top and Check point 2.  I was really relieved until the people at the top informed us that after SEVEN hours of climbing, we still had 16k back to the start/finish. We weren't even half-way.  I also asked how steep it was because I didn't like the last steep part at all, and she replied with "Oh, well its way steeper on this side, but at least you're all downhill now.  


I made my way through a couple trees to see what we were up against and became almost frozen.  More ropes, and more really steep mountain-side.   I decided to go for it, because really I didn't have any other option.  I also decided to take this part, one step at a time.  I had a new mantra and it was "Each step I take down, is a step I don't have to take back up, and a step closer to my kids and safety".  I went though a moment where I felt totally irresponsible for doing this because I was risking my children's mother's life.

Then it got steeper, and there we saw that we had caught up to another pair of Klimbers, where one was having a very rough time going down on the ropes.   We ended up passing them and continuing on down the mountain.  I had  been telling Danielle that I was done, and I would take whatever ride to the finish I could get. We agreed that what we had already done was a HUGE accomplishment.  I really thought that I would be taking a ride from the soonest possible point.

The rope stopped, but it was still really steep and I was confused.  I yelled "Where is the rope on THIS bitch!!".  Luckily again, Sean had made heel spots in the snow almost like steps to help us continue down as safely as possible. 

After what seemed like AGES the mountainside became a little easier to negotiate and I felt hopeful that I would not die on this mountain anymore. 

After the 2-3 medic hut, I felt like I was on top of the moon, I felt safe, the snow was mostly done with, and it was no longer so steep. BUT we should still have 13k remaining. 

I took a look behind me, and this is the mountain we had just come down... 

We enjoyed the next section of trail, and I felt like all my worries would melt away.  Then we saw bear poop. 

and more bear poop.  

I thought we were safe because we had spotted check point three's tent and I was almost ready to run to it, but then I heard everyone yelling at Dannielle.  "BEAR, STOP!! BEAR".  We were nearing a bridge and the bear was right on the other side amongst some old logging debris, about 10 feet from the trail. 

Sean started yelling at the bear, and banging his walking sticks together.  Then he threw a few rocks at it and it ran off up the mountain.   

Needless to say I was very nervous to walk by that spot but we kept yelling so the bear would stay away.  

We finally made it to check point 3, after 9 hours of hiking rough mountain terrain, where I finally got my nanaimo bars. There was also watermelon, trail mix, and beverages to help fuel us for the last 10+ kilometres.  While we were there they informed us that the sweeping cut-off was a few minutes ago but that they would allow us to continue on, but we had to make it to check-point  4 before they did, because once we were there, there would be no other way out.  So we ended up picking up steam and run/walking to check point 4 where we saw we "only" had 6.4 kilometres to go.  Only ONE more hour and we would finally be finished.  The last 6k felt like a breeze because I could taste the finish.

Here I am a few hundred meters from the finish line.  Everytime cars passed they honked in congrats, it was making me tear up.  Then came the bells and announcing.  It felt so... I can't come up with the proper words, but it was an indescribable feeling.   

Part of my "Tribe" as we headed in. Right after this we all ran in together. 

Here is the Tribe at the finish line after everyone was through.  I am so thankful to each of them for adopting me into their group.  They were so supportive, accepting and totally ok with every mental break-down I had.  Especially thankful for Cheryl and Sean, because I have no idea, and don't even want to THINK about how I would have continued on without them.  I owe them all Fireball, as we never did actually end up cracking it open on route.  

Apparently I burned 2 lbs doing this climb!!

That was officially the most crazy, challenging, extreme thing, that I have EVER done.  Don't know if I would ever do it again, but it definitely goes down in the books, and I'm thankful for the experiance!
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