Sometimes I get so wrapped up in looking forward to my goals and how far away some of them seem. It gets me down and full of self doubt, wondering if I'll get there. I forget to REALLY look at what I have accomplished so far.
Tonight I will celebrate every pound lost this year (60 in total), every workout completed, every healthy snack, every time I threw out something I knew would tempt me, every early morning, every sore muscle, every day logging on MyFitnessPal (110 since September), every "Like" on my Facebook page, every hit on my blog, every time I picked myself back up from a rough patch, ALL of it!
I will celebrate a truly great year in my life, the birth of my daughter, the success of my business, new friendships, another year with my Husband (We met New Years Eve 2006).
When I came into 2011, all I could think about was having my baby girl in my arms, I had no idea what else could possibly happen. I *wished* I could get healthier. I *wished* for motivation. Since I was pregnant, I didn't really have any sort or plan in place. You never know how your life will be with a newborn, and really its all about priorities. She came first.
I'm excited that this year I can really put myself first. I HAVE a plan, and although I'm still a devoted Mother, and business woman, I am able to balance all that with bettering myself and getting into the best shape of my life :)
Now, BRING ON 2012!
Saturday, 31 December 2011
Thursday, 29 December 2011
2011: Year in Review
This past year has been FULL. I started this year in a different place.
In January I about 30 weeks pregnant. I was due March 4th 2011. My Husband decided to take a job in Vancouver (2 hours drive, 2 hours ferry and 1 more hour driving away). We though it might be a good long-term opportunity for our family so off he went. I was pretty heart-broken, and my son who was not quite 2 yet didn't really understand.
Here he is the morning we left to move Daddy over. He put on his shoes and tried to pull his bag and open the door for him. This picture made me cry because he was excited for the car ride but didn't understand he wouldn't be seeing his Daddy very often.
In February at 35 weeks pregnant, and my husband away I fell and sprained my ankle. I could hardly get up to go get my son from his bed. I was alone and scared. It made me more angry that my husband was working away from me.
On Feb 28th 2011, I went into labour. My student midwife didn't believe me but finally agreed to meet me at the hospital. I was in a LOT of pain and when they checked my I was 8cm. They broke my water and it was time to push. This didn't leave enough time for Jeff to get home from Vancouver, so he missed the birth. He arrived about 5 hours after she was born.
Jeff stayed home that week, and then went back to Vancouver. During this time I discovered just how strong I could be. I had a newborn baby, an almost 2 year old, and a daycare that I was running from my home. I was also taking care of paying all the bills (Vancouver and Home and Daycare) I had help during the day with daycare, but everything else was on me. Guess what? I did it!! I survived.
When Annalisa was 6 weeks old we started taking turns with Jeff visiting. We would visit Jeff and then two weeks later, he would visit us, and so on. We had a lot of fun during our adventures. We went to the Zoo, the Aquarium, rode on mini trains, ate at Krispy Kreme, rode on ferries and more! I was also able to catch up with two of my most favourite friends in the whole world! It reminded me what true friendship is, and that I didn't need to see people every day to know I still cared for them.
In May I got some EDS testing done, and found out that I was sensitive to certain foods. I started a strict diet eliminating a lot of foods. I did great and felt great for that month. I lost about 14lbs.
In June Jeff lost his job in Vancouver. We decided that he should move home instead of looking for something else there. At that time I stopped my diet. We also began the summer of The Food Channel... I started baking a lot and making dishes worthy of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. My excuse was that I had been stressed out. I deserved a break. Every occasion was another excuse to bake and consume delicious but totally unhealthy foods. I even started making things into occasions. Happy Sunday! (Shaking head)
By September I had gained back all my 14lbs + 5. In September that's when Crystal said to me "Are you going first, or am I?" That's when it all seemed to 'click'. I started and finished the Couch to 5k app, I started doing Turbo Jam again. I started logging all my food into MyFitnessPal, every little bite, EVERY damn day!
This is me a few weeks into my change. I was feeling good and joked that I was channelling the show Big Sexy.
Here I am about a week ago and down 40lbs:
Since September I have come this far!
Wow. A lot happens in a year!
In December I decided to 'go public' with my weight-loss journey and self transformation. I started my Facebook page, and shortly after re-started my blog. Until that point I wasn't ready to show anyone my imperfections. I didn't want anyone to judge me or see me fail. Most likely I didn't want anyone to know I had admitted there was something wrong with me.
Now I am gearing up to ring in the New Year with my New Years Challenge. I'm amped up and ready to go!! Can only imagine how far I'll get in 2012!
In January I about 30 weeks pregnant. I was due March 4th 2011. My Husband decided to take a job in Vancouver (2 hours drive, 2 hours ferry and 1 more hour driving away). We though it might be a good long-term opportunity for our family so off he went. I was pretty heart-broken, and my son who was not quite 2 yet didn't really understand.
Here he is the morning we left to move Daddy over. He put on his shoes and tried to pull his bag and open the door for him. This picture made me cry because he was excited for the car ride but didn't understand he wouldn't be seeing his Daddy very often.
On Feb 28th 2011, I went into labour. My student midwife didn't believe me but finally agreed to meet me at the hospital. I was in a LOT of pain and when they checked my I was 8cm. They broke my water and it was time to push. This didn't leave enough time for Jeff to get home from Vancouver, so he missed the birth. He arrived about 5 hours after she was born.
Jeff stayed home that week, and then went back to Vancouver. During this time I discovered just how strong I could be. I had a newborn baby, an almost 2 year old, and a daycare that I was running from my home. I was also taking care of paying all the bills (Vancouver and Home and Daycare) I had help during the day with daycare, but everything else was on me. Guess what? I did it!! I survived.
When Annalisa was 6 weeks old we started taking turns with Jeff visiting. We would visit Jeff and then two weeks later, he would visit us, and so on. We had a lot of fun during our adventures. We went to the Zoo, the Aquarium, rode on mini trains, ate at Krispy Kreme, rode on ferries and more! I was also able to catch up with two of my most favourite friends in the whole world! It reminded me what true friendship is, and that I didn't need to see people every day to know I still cared for them.
In May I got some EDS testing done, and found out that I was sensitive to certain foods. I started a strict diet eliminating a lot of foods. I did great and felt great for that month. I lost about 14lbs.
In June Jeff lost his job in Vancouver. We decided that he should move home instead of looking for something else there. At that time I stopped my diet. We also began the summer of The Food Channel... I started baking a lot and making dishes worthy of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. My excuse was that I had been stressed out. I deserved a break. Every occasion was another excuse to bake and consume delicious but totally unhealthy foods. I even started making things into occasions. Happy Sunday! (Shaking head)
By September I had gained back all my 14lbs + 5. In September that's when Crystal said to me "Are you going first, or am I?" That's when it all seemed to 'click'. I started and finished the Couch to 5k app, I started doing Turbo Jam again. I started logging all my food into MyFitnessPal, every little bite, EVERY damn day!
This is me a few weeks into my change. I was feeling good and joked that I was channelling the show Big Sexy.
Here I am about a week ago and down 40lbs:
Since September I have come this far!
In December I decided to 'go public' with my weight-loss journey and self transformation. I started my Facebook page, and shortly after re-started my blog. Until that point I wasn't ready to show anyone my imperfections. I didn't want anyone to judge me or see me fail. Most likely I didn't want anyone to know I had admitted there was something wrong with me.
Now I am gearing up to ring in the New Year with my New Years Challenge. I'm amped up and ready to go!! Can only imagine how far I'll get in 2012!
Wednesday, 28 December 2011
NEW YEARS CHALLENGE!
So I've decided instead of a resolution I'm going to make my own little challenge. It's only 1 month long and then I'll make a new challenge after that.
Part 1 Nutrition and Hydration
I have made a month-long meal plan that I WILL follow. I am going to do the majority of my grocery shopping for the month in one go. Most of my days are between 1200-1400 calories. I have noticed that I tend to do better when I plan my day in advance so I'm going to see if this works for me. Hopefully saving me from impulse decisions. Its neat in a way because its like a "diet plan" except its all my own meals, meals I like and meals that work for me! (I even have desert every night!) I have cleaned out my cupboards and will ONLY have foods in the house that are on my plan :)
As part of the nutrition component I am challenging myself to drink at lease 100oz of water per day which equals 12.5 cups.
Part 2 Fitness
I will be doing the 30 Day Shred. This is an exercise DVD by Jillian Michaels. I have read many success stories from people who used her program so I decided that New Years would be a great time for it. Its about 20min long so it will be easy for me to get up early enough to get it done before daycare children arrive and I have to get my own kids up.
In addition, I WAS going to run 3x per week, but in light of recent injuries I will plan to do 1 hour of lower impact cardio 3 days per week instead. I'll be using the gym as well as 'modified' Turbo jam for those cardio workouts. If my knee and arches feel good then I'll slowly get back into running, but I'll play it safe for now.
**If I am feeling hungry or want to have an extra treat that is not within my daily calories, then I will work-out and burn the calories I need before I have it.
Part 1 Nutrition and Hydration
I have made a month-long meal plan that I WILL follow. I am going to do the majority of my grocery shopping for the month in one go. Most of my days are between 1200-1400 calories. I have noticed that I tend to do better when I plan my day in advance so I'm going to see if this works for me. Hopefully saving me from impulse decisions. Its neat in a way because its like a "diet plan" except its all my own meals, meals I like and meals that work for me! (I even have desert every night!) I have cleaned out my cupboards and will ONLY have foods in the house that are on my plan :)
As part of the nutrition component I am challenging myself to drink at lease 100oz of water per day which equals 12.5 cups.
Part 2 Fitness
I will be doing the 30 Day Shred. This is an exercise DVD by Jillian Michaels. I have read many success stories from people who used her program so I decided that New Years would be a great time for it. Its about 20min long so it will be easy for me to get up early enough to get it done before daycare children arrive and I have to get my own kids up.
In addition, I WAS going to run 3x per week, but in light of recent injuries I will plan to do 1 hour of lower impact cardio 3 days per week instead. I'll be using the gym as well as 'modified' Turbo jam for those cardio workouts. If my knee and arches feel good then I'll slowly get back into running, but I'll play it safe for now.
**If I am feeling hungry or want to have an extra treat that is not within my daily calories, then I will work-out and burn the calories I need before I have it.
Tuesday, 27 December 2011
The Past Haunts Me.
I sit here typing this on my phone from the car in Nanaimo. 6-7 years ago I was diagnosed with PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder) from the event in Vancouver that led to me moving home. I went to see someone for help but I was told I wasn't very bad and that the therapist had people with "real" problems to treat.
Ever since I haven't really given it much thought and assumed most of it must have been in my head. I must have been blowing it out of proportion. Fast forward a few years and some funny things are starting to happen. I have a really hard time being a passenger in traffic especially at high speeds. As far as I can tell, when I am driving I do pretty good.
When I'm a passenger, I'm a total for to floor-breaker, I'm constantly checking the side mirror and scanning the sides of the road.
It's getting worse. I have been gasping more often. I tense up and get incredibly scared. I start to panic and think that some incredible tragedy is going to happen to me or my family.
Today it was on a whole new level. We ended up driving to Nanaimo and I took a magazine to keep my mind off the road. As we got closer to Nanaimo and the traffic got more congested, I started to freak out. I gasped a few times (Jeff is getting used to it, he used to get really upset with me). It got so bad I ended up in tears. I couldn't look up and all I knew was I was scared! Eventually I was able to calm myself down, Jeff slowed down and made sure to drive extra carefully so I would feel more secure.
After we were done in Nanaimo we decided to head out. Just as we started driving on the highway someone in the left hand land cut us off so bad that they came very close to hitting us. We had to swerve and lay on the horn, and then they swerved and again continued to cut us off!! Well I didn't handle this very well, I just started to cry and found it hard to breathe!!
It just seems so weird to me because in any other situation I an remain calm. I have been in emergency situations and I totally stay calm and take charge. I just don't get why. When I'm driving I am totally fine, or if I'm on a bus I'm good too. I used to love going on long car rides and trips, but now it just makes me uncomfortable!
Anyways, I thought I would just take a moment to share that. I'm wondering if it may in some weird way be related to my journey, not the weight-loss part but the self improvement part.
Ever since I haven't really given it much thought and assumed most of it must have been in my head. I must have been blowing it out of proportion. Fast forward a few years and some funny things are starting to happen. I have a really hard time being a passenger in traffic especially at high speeds. As far as I can tell, when I am driving I do pretty good.
When I'm a passenger, I'm a total for to floor-breaker, I'm constantly checking the side mirror and scanning the sides of the road.
It's getting worse. I have been gasping more often. I tense up and get incredibly scared. I start to panic and think that some incredible tragedy is going to happen to me or my family.
Today it was on a whole new level. We ended up driving to Nanaimo and I took a magazine to keep my mind off the road. As we got closer to Nanaimo and the traffic got more congested, I started to freak out. I gasped a few times (Jeff is getting used to it, he used to get really upset with me). It got so bad I ended up in tears. I couldn't look up and all I knew was I was scared! Eventually I was able to calm myself down, Jeff slowed down and made sure to drive extra carefully so I would feel more secure.
After we were done in Nanaimo we decided to head out. Just as we started driving on the highway someone in the left hand land cut us off so bad that they came very close to hitting us. We had to swerve and lay on the horn, and then they swerved and again continued to cut us off!! Well I didn't handle this very well, I just started to cry and found it hard to breathe!!
It just seems so weird to me because in any other situation I an remain calm. I have been in emergency situations and I totally stay calm and take charge. I just don't get why. When I'm driving I am totally fine, or if I'm on a bus I'm good too. I used to love going on long car rides and trips, but now it just makes me uncomfortable!
Anyways, I thought I would just take a moment to share that. I'm wondering if it may in some weird way be related to my journey, not the weight-loss part but the self improvement part.
Monday, 26 December 2011
40 LBS DOWN!
Wow. Did I think I would be here 105 days ago? NO WAY. I wished, I hoped, but was so scared I would get discouraged. I've had my struggles so far, but right now I know that I am on my way! It's weird but 40 just seems so much more substantial that any other number so far. 40lbs is a LOT! (Side note: I was almost done writing this when I realised that I am also down 60lbs total! Talk about a mind-blower)
*Happy Dance*
I just feel so pumped and ready to go for my January challenge.
So proud of this accomplishment, especially this week with Christmas. I lost 2.5lbs doing two days at maintenance calories, enjoying Christmas. Yep, I had rum and eggnog, turkey dinner, pumpkin pie, eggs benedict, two candy cane donuts, buckeyes, a ginger cookie, and roast beef dinner. They key was, I had it all in MODERATION!! Also I know I won't eat like that every day because the sugar makes me crash, and all that food makes me feel bloated.
On Christmas day I went on a run. I was so proud of myself that I actually got out there! I decided to test-drive my new Asics running shoes, and the sun was totally calling my name. Unfortunately my knee started bothering me about 2km in and at 3.5km I had to stop. I hyper-extended it the other day when I was improperly getting off the elliptical. It didn't bother me during my next workout so I assumed it would be ok to go... apparently I was wrong :(
This is me before, during and post Christmas run
On Christmas day I went on a run. I was so proud of myself that I actually got out there! I decided to test-drive my new Asics running shoes, and the sun was totally calling my name. Unfortunately my knee started bothering me about 2km in and at 3.5km I had to stop. I hyper-extended it the other day when I was improperly getting off the elliptical. It didn't bother me during my next workout so I assumed it would be ok to go... apparently I was wrong :(
This is me before, during and post Christmas run
So, this week I'm going to take it easy on the knee, and continue to baby my arches. This week I plan on going for a few walks, doing a few Tae Bo workouts, and a few gym workouts. I want to lose 2lbs to get to my modified goal of 245lbs by New Years! It will be great to start January (and my challenge) off so close to the 230s. Its funny, what once seemed impossible, now seems within reach! My biggest goal so far is to be in onederland (under 200) by the time I turn 30 in June. Once I get there I will re-assess my plan and continue on the last 55lbs :)
Hard Work - Dedication
Weight-loss: You don't need to be the fastest to win, you just have to keep going!
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