Rounding the corner!

I gave myself some slack this week to deal with things going on outside of Megan 2.0.  The scale will probably me angry with me, but I feel like I'm really going to be prepared to give it my all next week!

I know what happened to me earlier in the year when I didn't take breaks and allowed myself to take on too much... Let's just say it wasn't pretty.

In fact, you know what?  I'm going to put it out there as it's now behind me.  Early this summer I started suffering from panic attacks and anxiety.  I'm pretty sure part of it was just putting too much on myself and consuming my brain in an all-or-nothing approach to weight-loss, where I felt like a failure if I was FIVE calories over for the day.  I sweated all the small stuff.
That was actually the reason why I was so quiet during July and most of August.  I had to get my head in a good place and get back the mental strength I needed to continue.

Now, while I will push myself, I will not push myself TOO hard to where I endanger my emotional wellness.

This week I had so much going on that stressing about the small things was NOT a healthy option for me. I know how easily I can over-stress things and for me I really need to prioritize.  It's something that I am learning to do on this journey.  Also, I was aware that I would have more knowledge on said stressful situation by this coming week. This resulted in my time-frame (7 days) where I would focus on more important things than losing pounds (yes they do exist).

I'm already feeling much better and I'm looking forward to bringing my A-Game next week and making some progress... or... at least make-up for this week.

So like Bob says up top, I fully intend to "Stand up and finish what I started".

It's MY Journey

I say this because I'm making a decision that I'm sure many 'perfect' dieters don't choose.  I'm taking a week off to deal with the other things going on in my life and not feel guilty too guilty about it.

Right now there are a lot of questions that I don't have answers to and quite frankly, my friends Big Mac and Fries seem to make me feel more at peace than Weight Watchers does at this moment.

Image Source

Does this mean I'm giving up??

HELL NO

I'm just giving myself one week to get my head wrapped around the things in my life that have just taken a sudden change and figure out which direction the winds are blowing.  Monday I will start with fresh weekly points, a fresh weigh-in and more knowledge than I have today.  I should know a lot more about things (and thus be able to deal with them in a more effective manor) by Monday.

Its MY journey and on MY journey I take breaks when I feel like I need them.  Its part of my version of balance.   Hopefully one day I will be so set in my ways that I have better ways of dealing with stresses but today the choice is: more stress and anxiety (the situation I have to deal with PLUS the fact that I'm struggling) OR less stress and anxiety and an easier time concentrating on important temporary matters.

I'm not saying it's the right way, I'm saying that at this time in my journey its MY way.

What a weekend! + Weigh-in

This weekend was a lot of things.

On Thursday I dropped my iPhone in the toilet. So by Friday night ended up acquiring a new one. Pretty handy since the new iPhone was released in stores on Friday (where I am anyways).

Saturday I kept busy with my kids going to the gym and out to a birthday party.

Sunday was my 5 year wedding anniversary. It ended up being a typical Sunday for us, with a few extra "Can you believe we've been married for FIVE years!?" statements. I went to the gym, and we all headed out to watch my 3 year old during his hockey class.

On the downside, I've been dealing with some pretty emotional things going on with someone close to me so I ended up caving on the food situation. I DID however keep it within my points values (used all weekly and all but 9 activity points) and I was down 0 this week. Still sitting at 221.8. On one hand I want to be happy about not gaining right now, but I feel like I've been putting a lot of effort in and I'm not seeing a return yet. 2.2lbs for 4 weeks of discipline doesn't seem fair enough.

I'm determined to keep with the plan for now though. Maybe I'm retaining some fluid from my strength training classes or some other reason, who knows.

I just know that if I don't start seeing that number go down shortly, I'm probably going to lose it!

It's Friday!

I've meant to blog all week, but didn't really know what to say.

Don't get me wrong, things are all going well, I guess I was just not in the mood or something.

Also yesterday my iPhone made a suicide attempt in my toilet and is currently stashed in a bag of rice while we attempt to make a recovery (fingers crossed)!

I've been pretty on-point with me eating all week.  Its Friday and I have only used 12 weekly points so far. 

Yesterday I met my cousin at Starbucks for a coffee date after my Group Power class and decided I would have a little treat.  I tried to pick out something yummy but not outrageous on the points.  I (for previously mentioned reasons) did not have my phone with me to look up nutritional info, so I tried to make an educated guess.  I had 3 left for the day so I thought I could spend an additional 5-6 or my weekly points to indulge.  I chose to have a slice of their lemon poppyseed loaf.  Sounds innocent enough right?  Well I found out when I got home and logged it, that the darn thing was 13 POINTS!!  Ouch!!

Overall I've been feeling pretty good about my choices and how satisfied I have been at the end of the day.  Exercise wise I feel pretty good. I haven't been going balls to the walls yet but I have done 2 Group Power classes, one 3k run + elliptical session and one walk at lunch so far.

Feeling STRONG! (Weigh-in)

Since my Tabata Class went so well on Saturday, I decided to check out another class.  This one was Group Power. Group power is a strength training barbell based class.  

Now, I had everything planned.  I dropped off the kids at the daycare in the gym, brought a protein shake for after the workout, arrived early to grab my spot, and even wore my new shirt (below).  

About 2 minutes into the warm-up, one of the staff came to grab be because my darling spirited demon child, decided to throw the mother of all temper tantrums. This has been something that has been increasing in frequency and severity (and oh so much FUN... not).  I had to go calm her down before I could return to class, and THANKFULLY she decided it was ok for me to leave and I got to go enjoy my class.

The class itself was a great workout!  I have been looking to add some more strength training into my routine and this was a fun way to get it in. 

Here I am after class in my new shirt that I had made.  I love it!

Oh right, I almost forgot... Today was a weigh-in day.  

So on the weekend, apparently I decided it was a good time to eat.... well... a bunch of CRAP. I ended up just BARELY keeping my week on point, but I did use all of my activity points to do so. I also did that Tabata class which made me sore all over (possibly retaining fluid).  Needless to say, I did not have high hopes for big losses this week.  

I stepped on the scale this morning and it said 221.8 which meant I was down .2lbs for the week.   Considering my weekend and the potential I had for water retention I was almost expecting a gain, so I was happy to see any loss at all, even if it was only .2.  

Go ME!

So, if you met me one year ago, at the beginning if my fitness journey, you probably wouldn't have known that I was concerned at all with fitness.  I was so concerned with hiding my efforts, and what other people might have to say about them, to do anything other than walking in public.

Today I took my second ever fitness CLASS to celebrate how far I have come.  Yep, I exercised in public, with other people, in front of a bunch of mirrors.

I was very nervous, because I had heard intimidating things about Tabata classes. For those who don't know what Tabata is, it's a form of high intensity interval training where you do one exercise as hard as you can for 20 seconds followed by 10 seconds of rest. Then you repeat it 7 more times.  You do the same thing with the following exercises until you are finished and lying panting on the floor.

When I arrived, I got set up and had a look in the mirror.  At first I was picking out things that I was feeling self-concious about and imagining the other ladies thinking mean things about me.

Then I told my subconscious to STFU and let it GO.  I didn't alter my exercises to minimize the jiggle, I didn't avoid unflattering moves, I just decided to go for it!

The class was great, I had a great instructor.  She was the type that makes you comfortable and relaxed, you know she doesn't take things too seriously.  Also, none of the other ladies glared at me or made mean comments. In fact, they were actually quite nice!

There was a few times where I was feeling really winded, but I looked at my tattoo and remembered that I CAN do this... so I did.

By the end I was a sweaty, red-faced mess, and I loved it!

Take THAT self doubt!

I'm hanging on!

So remember earlier in the week when I was saying how I had been emotionally eating?

Well I am happy to report that I have bounced back and still have 28 of my weekly points in tact along with 23 of my activity points earned (so far).   Thank goodness.  I think Pumpkin Fluff saved me yesterday, because I was set on having something sweet.

I was just reading this article with weight loss tips over at Everydayhealth.com and it got me thinking about my own sleep habits.  I do notice that when I am tired, my willpower becomes weak.  That could have been part of my problems on Monday because I had been up later than usual watching a movie on Sunday night...

What do you think? Does sleep affect your eating patterns?

Anyhow.  After taking my progress pictures yesterday, I think I am really starting to be proud of the progress I have made so far.  I mentioned yesterday that sometimes I still feel like my before picture, and I do, but now I can see such a significant change that it's helping me realize that even when I mess up, I am no where near where I started and I DO have the strength to keep going!!

I Am Tough Enough!

ONE YEAR!!

Today marks the day where I have been actively trying to live a healthier life for one entire year!!

1 year ago, I couldn't walk far without panting.  I couldn't run for longer than 30 seconds.  I couldn't wear the necklaces that my husband had given to me for birthdays and anniversaries.  I listened to my excuses more often than not.  I ate whatever would make me happy that day.  I wore size 24 jeans and 3-4x shirts.  I hid from photos. I was afraid to do anything physical in public besides walking.

Since September 13th 2011, I have lost 65lbs, run 14k, climbed a mountain, dealt with injuries, fallen off track, gotten back on track, completed 30 day shred, completed Chalean Extreme, used MFP, used Weight Watchers Online (currently), discovered a new interest in biking, enhanced friendships through exercise, tried Zumba and so much more!

Here I am 1 year ago, and today.

The changes have been gradual, and I would be lying if I said some days I didn't feel like I was still my before picture. 

Many times I find myself feeling disappointed that I didn't make more progress in this last year.  I've watched other people on their journey's lose weight more consistently, people lose weight faster than I.  Some people don't lose motivation half-way through, or have the mental strength to keep level headed and power through their injuries.  Those people are not me.  

My journey is not about anyone else BUT me.  

While I have had months of maintaining and even gaining weight throughout my journey, weight is not the only way I measure my progress.  

The Megan 2.0 Project is about making a better version of myself, not only in my physical health, but in many other aspects including my mental health, being a better mother, better wife, better business owner, better childcare provider, better friend, acting with integrity, being honest and responsible (even when its hard) and making myself a person that I am proud to be.  

My journey is no where NEAR close to the finish, I am still a WORK IN PROGRESS.  I have a feeling that I will always be a work in progress, but the more I work, the happier I am with the person I am right now, and feel comfortable with the fact that I am becoming a better person with each passing day!

Weigh-in (Week 2 of Weight Watchers)

This week I worked the plan.  I really like the no-guilt feeling of grabbing fruits and veggies when I'm hungry, I think its a really healthy habit to form.  Counting points seems to be getting easier, so overall I'm enjoying WW!

Weekly Points Used : 19
Activity Points Earned: 28

I weighed in at 222lbs, which puts me at a 1lb loss for the week.

This means I used 21 LESS points than I used last week and still only lost 1lb.

I'm kind of kicking myself for thinking like that, but I was really hoping for 2lbs this week. I felt like all my extra effort this week was a waste!

At the very least I am moving in the right direction. I need to remember that not too long ago I was out of control and gaining weight. Also I haven't been as active as I normally am when I am really giving it my all.

Putting it all out there, I did overdo my food consumption today.  I stupidly used some of my weekly points on what I can only explain as emotional eating.  Tomorrow is a new day, and I'm prepared to bring it!

10 Day WIN & Pumpkin Fluff

10 completed days on Weight Watchers!!  Yay me!!  I am 1/4 way through my mini goal of staying within my WW points for 6 weeks!

I've been getting more and more comfortable with Weight Watchers and would say this week has been less challenging for me.  I'm not quite as hungry as I was last week so that's been making it easier.  I'm also getting the hang of inputting all my foods.  It sure is a nice break from calorie counting.

One thing I haven't been doing as much of this week is exercise.  I wanted to get in more, but I have found myself really busy with the beginning of the school year.  I've decided not to stress too much about this and just work on doing what I can for now.  I DID however finally receive my copy of The New Rules Of Lifting For Women in the mail yesterday!  I plan to read the book and then get started on my workouts. For the food portion I will take into account what they say, but probably just stagger my weekly points to use (some) on lifting days. 

One of my Facebook Page fans gave me a fantastic recipe!  The recipe is for Pumpkin Fluff.

1 can pumpkin puree
1 tub 95% Fat Free Cool Whip
1 package Sugar-Free Fat-Free Vanilla pudding mix
1 tsp pumpkin pie spice

Thaw the cool whip.  Combine ingredients and mix well in a bowl.  Chill for 20min and serve!

Basically you can eat it on its own, with graham crackers (or other sweet cracker) OR as I discovered this morning, as a topping to your oatmeal!   This stuff is absolutely delicious and filling.  1/2 cup works out to 1-2 PP. I always overestimate and say 2 because I feel like I'm treating myself big-time when I eat it!.

My new addition!

I decided to get this tattoo after completing the >Kusam Klimb< back in June.   The Klimb itself (23k total including a 5000ft elevation gain) was intense and had me in tears, many a time.  There were times I thought I couldn't go on, times I felt like I was one slip away from severe injury or death, times I wanted to quit... but one step at a time I conquered that mountain.  When I crossed the finish line, one of the organizers yelled at me "YOU ARE TOUGH ENOUGH" and it really hit home.  Not just for climbing the mountain, but for many many other reasons.  I realised... I AM tough enough... 

This tattoo will serve as a reminder to me that when things get hard or I doubt myself, that I CAN do it... It may not be easy but I am Tough Enough.

This tattoo was done by Jacques Pouliot of Frenchman Tattoo in Campbell River

Weight Watchers Pasta with Broccoli and Goat Cheese REVIEW

Since I got my new Weight Watchers cook book "Weight Watchers New Complete Cookbook", I have been just waiting to try some recipes.  Today I chose the Pasta with Broccoli and Goat Cheese to be my first for 7PP.

The recipe was filling, and not bad.  I think I would make this again, BUT I would make a few changes.

• Instead of using lemon zest, I would use straight-up lemon juice (I didn't enjoy the zest flavor).
• I would roast the broccoli with garlic powder instead of cooking it in a skillet with garlic cloves. 
• I would maybe add a few bacon bits for fun!

First weigh-in on Weight Watchers

Down 1 lbs!!

I'm happy, but at the same time a little disappointed, and I'll tell you why.  I cheated.  I weighed myself SEVERAL times during the week and saw lower numbers so I just assumed that today would be even lower and I would have an AMAZING week weight-loss-wise. Had I kept to the once weekly weigh-in I would be totally cool with it.

What's my current weight you ask? It's 223.  Down from the 230 I was on July 30th after gaining 10lbs through the months of May, June and July.  It sucks to have to be re-losing this weight, but at the same time, I'm not too far away from breaking new ground!

My goals for next week:

• Stay OP
• Workout 5 times
• Meet all my Healthy Checks
• Don't weigh until next Monday

Really after the last few months I'm just thankful to be moving in the right direction again.

Love the new direction.

So here I am, currently on day six! Been a few days since I blogged, but don't worry about me, I'm totally rocking it out!

Good news:  I officially lost just over 7lbs in August!!  Only 3 more to go and I'll be back to breaking new ground!!  I'm so excited to be getting closer to so many big milestones (1 year on my journey, 100lbs lost, overweight BMI, and ONEDERLAND).

Days 4,5 and 6 have gone very well.  I used up the rest of my weekly points today on this salad.

Spinach topped with blueberries, strawberries, ginger pecans, smoked salmon, and goat cheese! I followed it up with a fresh open topped blueberry pie! So delicious!!

It probably didn't require all the rest of my weekly points but I overestimated and still have 28 activity points that I shall leave untouched.

My new weigh-in days are Mondays so I'll be able to update everyone on my first week's results with Weight Watchers then. It feels like I have been doing it for longer than a week already.

Hope you all have a fantastic long-weekend! I plan to relax and enjoy some down time before the chaos of a new daycare year begins!