Tuesday 14 February 2012

Struggling.

Well its been a few days since I posted.

Well I had 3 not-so-great days last week, and this week I just had one.  I didn't go over my calories with exercise but I KNOW I could have made better choices.

I'm getting nervous about my end of month weigh-in. I know I'm not really supposed to see big numbers, but I still would like to.

I'm feeling nervous that if I don't see much improvement I will feel like I just wasted a month.  On the other hand, I KNOW I am making progress.  I ran 8 kilometres (5 miles for my US residents), and that is huge for me!!  Seriously, at 236 (ish) pounds I ran for an hour and 15 minutes straight.  What a big accomplishment!  Also I am really liking Chalene Extreme, my muscles are always feeling worked, and I know I'm already getting stronger.

I guess its just the mental part.  It's not as easy as saying "I don't give a crap what the scale says".  There is a whole lot more work I will have to do to be 'ok' with it.  That is a goal of mine though.  I want to be able to use the scale as a tool, and at the same lead such a balanced lifestyle that I can feel confident knowing I am doing all that I can to get healthy and fit.

I think that's why I have been quiet the last few days.  I really enjoy sharing my successes.  Writing about my struggles is a little harder to do, but I know that to tell the whole truth to myself and to anyone reading this I need to suck it up and acknowledge those here too.

This journey is not easy.  Not for many anyhow.  The reason I have been successful so far is realizing that I can overcome these struggles and keep moving forward.  I CAN. Watch me!


Side Note:  My kids are so awesome.  My daughter Anna will be 1 in two weeks, and Landon will be 3 in April, and I am totally soaking up their stages right now.  Anna is "talking", but I wish I knew what she was saying.  She even has facial expressions and body language to help accentuate.  Its so darn cute. Landon is crazy with how much he understands now.  Tonight Anna was crying in her crib and he grabbed a toy, ran down the hall to her room, went in and then gave her the toy to make her "feel better".

2 comments:

  1. I've got news for you: this journey isn't easy for any of us. I've found that the key is to not let the good days trick you into thinking you're never gonna have any more bad days and to not let the bad days derail you for any longer than necessary. Sounds like you've got the healthy living teetter-totter going in the right direction...

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  2. We all go through this! In fact right now I'm struggling with getting back my motivation after a couple of bad weeks. Sometimes it's our body's way of telling us we need a break, other times its our mind's way of strengthening our determination.

    Don't forget why you started on this journey and even if the scale doesn't move in the direction you wanted, remember that getting healthy isn't always about a number. Proper nutrition and exercise will make you healthier and I think being healthy is more important than wht the scale says.

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