I don't know what's going on.
I'm back on plan, so I should keep seeing results, but for some reason I'm just not able to wrap my head around where I am at right now.
I read a lot of success stories on MFP, and lots of them have people starting where I am now, or heavier, and 6 months later or so they are in Onederland and looking good. Then I find myself feeling jealous of these people and thinking "Wow, I wish I could do that".
The thing is, I CAN do that. I am getting close. I just can't wrap my head around it though. If I stay on plan, I *should* be in the 210's in the next few weeks, which is close to the 200's which is VERY close to the 100's. And to be quite honest with you all, and myself, it's kind of freaking the crap out of me out right now.
Part of me is here, ready to fight, ready to kick ass, and ready to take names... Then there is that other part of me. The part that's telling me I have SO FREAKIN FAR TO GO, that I can't do it, that it's too hard, that I suck.
Every time I think about how much weight I have to lose, my mind automatically thinks I'm still 236, not 226 or 224. I don't know why I keep thinking I'm 236. Maybe its because I didn't weigh for a month and it stuck?
Anyhow, that's just what's running through my head lately. Keepin' it real, and thought I would share.